Aftermath: Part II
by thehammerofthor
Summary: Picking up from the final line of the game, Joel and Ellie embark on a new adventure, unlike any they have had together: a life in the safe confines of Jackson. This story will detail their struggle to cope with the dramatic change, deal with the tension brought into their relationship by Joel's lie, and more. This story is a "sequel" to my previous story Aftermath. Read that First
1. Chapter 1 - Safe

**A/N: You knew I wouldn't keep you waiting long. I guess I just can't stay away from the Last of Us for too long. Anyways, first things first: this is a direct sequel to my previous story Aftermath. For anyone who hasn't read it, Aftermath takes place during the gap between Winter and Spring in the game. There will be references to events and details from that story in Aftermath: Part II, so if you haven't read it, go and do so before reading Part II.**

**Part II picks up at that infamous final word of the game. The ending really shocked me, not because it was particularly climactic or epic, but because it wasn't. I was also rather conflicted about it at first, too. To me, it's probably one of the least "happy" happy endings I can recall. But it's very complex and deep, and is ripe for delving into, so here's my attempt at doing just that. All of the stuff that will take place in this story is just my interpretation of how life would be for Joel and Ellie after making it safely to Jackson and trying to settle down and build a life together. I know part of the ending's appeal is that it doesn't show that, and lets the player do that themselves, but I was a player, and that's what I'm doing.**

**Anyways, enough rambling on. Here's the first chapter! I hope you're as excited for this as I am! Please enjoy and let me know what you think!**

**DISCLAIMER/LEGAL MUMBO-JUMBO: I do not own The Last of Us, it is Naughty Dog's property.**

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**AFTERMATH: PART II**

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**CHAPTER 1**

**SAFE**

"Okay."

The word fell from her lips. He had hesitated a second too long. He had to be lying, but... he couldn't be. No, she was certain it was a lie. His story about the Fireflies and the dozens of people just like her wasn't that believable. But he wouldn't lie to her. And if he did, he must have his reasons. He must.

"Now c'mon, let's get into town," Joel urged as he turned and began down the embankment to the perimeter of Jackson.

Ellie couldn't move. She stared down at the town, watching people ambling up and down the streets. It almost looked like she imagined it that night on the porch in Evanston. The people were... strolling; there was no tension in their movements, no constant vigilance. They were relaxed, a feeling she wasn't familiar with. She came very close to turning and running away, deep into the woods.

"Ellie!" Joel's voice startled her. "C'mon!"

"Right," she said to herself, forcing her feet to move his direction.

The embankment was fairly steep, and Joel waited for her at a particularly treacherous spot, extending a hand to help her down. He wouldn't lie to her. In every action, it was obvious how much he cared about her. You don't lie to someone you care about that much, do you?

The two of them approached the gate, making sure their weapons were holstered and their hands raised. Joel stepped in front to shield Ellie, always protecting her.

"Hold it!" one of the guards called from the tower beside the gate, rifle barrel protruding over the railing. "What's your business here?"

"Name's Joel, I'm Tommy's brother. He probably ain't expectin' us."

The guard conferred with someone on the other end of the radio. "All right, you hold up. He's on his way down to verify who you are."

Joel and Ellie waited in the palpable tension, but after a few minutes a loud clank preceded the opening of the gate. Tommy's familiar face emerged, followed by Maria's.

"Joel! Ellie! My God I was startin' to think this day would never come!" he exclaimed, clearly relieved to see them. He moved to Joel and embraced him. Ellie smiled, happy to see them reunited once more. "Well, c'mon then. Inside."

"They're friendlies!" Maria announced, just as she had all those months ago back at the dam. The guards eased, looking rather relieved. "How're you doing, Ellie?" she asked.

Ellie truly wasn't sure how to answer. "Surviving."

"You two must be hungry," Maria said.

"Par for the course these days," Ellie replied, hoping she had used the phrase correctly, though she had no idea what it meant.

"We'll see if we can't put together somewhat of a feast tonight, to celebrate your return," Maria replied. Ellie perked up at the thought of a feast. She was starving, as usual. "I know Tommy's been eagerly wishing for this day to come. Ever since you guys left last fall, he's been keeping an eye on the horizon, hoping to see the two of you appear."

The four of them walked through the town, Tommy pointing out locations of interest along the way. "...and that there's the mess hall, where the town can gather for special occasions such as tonight. There's a big cafeteria where we can all eat together." He stepped to the side and grabbed someone passing by. "Earl, you make it known that the town's getting together to celebrate Joel and Ellie's return. Let's throw a feast, or as good of one as we can come up with."

"Sure thing, Tommy," Earl responded, trotting off. Ellie thought she recognized him from the dam last fall. He seemed like the kind of guy who was eager to help.

She looked over at Joel walking beside Tommy. He hadn't said much since they entered Jackson. He was probably trying to shake the disbelief, just like she was. It was a weird change being somewhere safe.

"Ellie, did you hear me?" Maria had been talking to her.

"Huh?"

"What do you think? Of the town?"

"Oh. It's uh... it's gonna take some getting used to," Ellie replied.

"I understand. Can't honestly say I'm completely used to it myself. Having electricity after around twenty years without it is a strange phenomenon," Maria said, looking up at an illuminated streetlight.

"Even in the Zone it was spotty," Ellie remarked. It had been quite a while since she'd seen electricity provided by a power grid rather than a generator.

They continued down the streets of Jackson. Ellie marveled at each of the houses. She wasn't used to seeing them occupied. They were decently well-kept, the yards weren't strewn with debris, and the movement within them wasn't a pod of Infected or hunters scavenging for supplies. It was just people making a house a home.

They came to a house that was in the best shape of them all. It even had a wooden picket fence, though the weather had stripped its white paint years ago. The windows were mostly intact, except for one on the second floor that appeared to have a tree prodding into it. There were no visible structural flaws, the siding was clean and the yard was clear.

"I've uh… I've been savin' this one. Hasn't been easy to do, given the shape its in, but I was holdin' it for you two in hopes you'd return," Tommy said.

Joel and Ellie stared at the house, stunned.

"Tommy… this is…" Joel started, feebly searching for the words. "I can't believe-"

"Wow… this is ours?" Ellie cut him off.

"I told you," Tommy responded. "'There's a place for you here.' I meant it, literally and figuratively."

Joel didn't know what to say, and walked over to embrace Tommy. "Thanks, baby brother. I can't… I don't know what else to say. Thank you."

"You're welcome. It's good to have you back. Go on, check it out." He ushered Joel and Ellie toward the house.

They reached the front door, and Joel brought Ellie up in front of him. "Go on, kiddo, you do the honors."

She turned the handle, brimming with apprehension. She couldn't comprehend having a home. Somewhere fixed, stationary, and not filled with bunks for other people her age. The Ten had saved her and Joel from freezing to death, but she never considered it a home. The hotels they had stayed some nights in were no more a home to them than they were to those who used them before the outbreak. But this was theirs.

The door creaked open, revealing a living room with a couch, easy chair, and even a television. There was no telling if it worked or not, and even if it turned on there were no signals for it to receive. They continued into the house to find a kitchen that was as clean as one could be after so many years of neglect, a bathroom which Tommy informed them would have running water in a couple weeks if the work on the water treatment plant and pumping station from the river went well, and a stairway leading upstairs. On the top floor they found three bedrooms and another bathroom.

"All right. There's the tour. I'm gonna let you two get a little settled while I go get some things prepared for tonight. I'll come get you when it's time," Tommy said, heading back downstairs.

"Well, kiddo. I ain't too picky, so I'll let you pick your room," Joel said.

Ellie looked up at him quizzically. _My room_, she thought. She wasn't used to having her own quarters. She had always shared Joel's while they were together, and frankly preferred it that way. She looked into the three bedrooms one at a time, and finally settled on one of the two without the broken window.

"Not exactly a lot to unpack," she observed, unslinging her backpack.

"I suppose not. We travel light." Joel leaned in the doorway of her room, watching her rummage through her scant belongings. She pulled the switchblade from her back pocket and flicked it open, examining the blade and wiping it on her cargo pants. "Hey, where'd you get a switchblade like that, anyway?"

Ellie glanced at him, and then returned her eyes to the knife. Joel saw them focus on something miles away as she stared through the blade. Finally, she answered, "It belonged to my mother."

They had hardly spoken about her mother, and Joel wasn't sure if it was a sore topic for her. "Oh… what, uh… what did you know about her?"

She kept her eyes on the gleaming blade and sighed. She considered sharing the note she had tucked in her backpack, but decided against it. "Not much, actually. Just that her name was Anna, she died when I was a baby, and she was close with Marlene."

Joel cringed inside at the mention of Marlene. A vision of the parking garage where she confronted him with a lifeless Ellie in his arms flashed before his mind, and he shook it away. He kept a close watch on Ellie's face, checking for an adverse reaction to his questions. "What about your dad?"

She returned her eyes to him and studied him for a while. "He was gone long before that, that's all I know."

Joel looked down at the weathered floorboards. "I'm sorry."

Ellie shrugged. "It's all right. I didn't know them all that well... and yeah, I wish I had known my parents, but wishing won't bring them back." She closed the blade. "Things happen, and we move on."

Joel flashed back to the last time Ellie spoke those words: that first morning after she had killed David, when he had asked her how she was doing 'besides physically.' It wasn't insignificant or coincidental that she chose those words. He could tell it bothered her more than she was letting on, but he let it go. "Yeah."

"I don't even know if there's a use for this thing anymore, anyways," she pondered, flicking the blade open again. She stood up and walked past Joel into the hallway. He turned to follow her into the unused bedroom.

A gentle breeze was playing at the white curtains hung around the casement window, which was slightly ajar and missing most of its panes of glass. A vine from the nearby tree was growing in through one of the pane segments, and the white paint was peeling from the sill.

Ellie sauntered over to the window and gazed at the knife in her hand for several minutes. She remembered when she had first received it in that package from Marlene, so long ago. She looked back to all it had seen, remembered how many times it had saved her and Joel's skin. Finally, she placed the tip of the blade on the sill and rested the hilt against the frame.

It felt like a goodbye, but Ellie wasn't sure what it was she was saying goodbye to. She hoped to be finally wishing farewell to the life of violence she had lived up to this point. She hated killing, and was ready to try this comparatively easy life she had heard about in stories of years long past. But at the same time, every time she felt the smooth wood of the hilt, she thought of her mother and, by association, her father. This wasn't goodbye to them, was it?

She had come to think of Joel as a father, but ever since she woke in the back of the SUV on the way out of Salt Lake, a creeping sense of wariness and suspicion had seeped into her bones. She knew in the back of her mind that he hadn't been telling her the whole truth. She knew it, but she wouldn't believe it. Besides, whatever choices he made, he was protecting her. That was Joel's primary concern in every matter.

And yet, she remained conflicted. Why did she deserve to be alive and even have a chance at an easy life? She had watched everyone close to her die or depart, except Joel. Those who had died did so horrifically. She had survived the apocalypse, all while supposedly holding the key to mankind's future, and after all was said and done, nothing came of it. The search for the cure was over, or so Joel had said. He said there were dozens more like her, so she wasn't that special after all. Why did she get a chance at this kind of life while Riley didn't? Or Tess? Or Sam? It seemed unfair. But, if it was all true, as Joel swore it was, what could she do? _Life is worth living_, the words from her mother's note echoed in her head.

Ellie gazed at the blade on the sill for what felt like hours, while Joel leaned against the wall near the door, watching her silently. Finally, she turned and her eyes met his. She offered a weak smile.

"You all right?" Joel asked.

Ellie stole another glance at the knife before turning back to face him. "Yeah."

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**AFTERMATH: PART II WILL CONTINUE**

**WITH CHAPTER 2**


	2. Chapter 2 - Home

**A/N: Here we go, chapter 2! I'm happy to see all the positive reaction to chapter one of Part II. I'm really pumped to have all this freedom all of the sudden. A lot of new creative doors are open now that I only have to worry about continuity of character and not continuity of events and story line. Thanks again for reading and reviewing this, it's really reignited a love for writing, something I haven't experienced in a long, long time. Like I said in an A/N in part one, I haven't really written creatively since high school, and now I see what I've been missing out on. It's a really rewarding experience for a number of reasons.**

**Anyway, enough rambling, here's chapter 2. Enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER/LEGAL MUMBO-JUMBO: I do not own The Last of Us, it is Naughty Dog's property.**

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**CHAPTER 2**

**HOME**

Late afternoon sun poured through the windows and bathed the living room in an amber glow. Ellie lie on the couch with her hands intertwined over her stomach, staring at the ceiling. Relaxing was hard. After so many months training herself to be alert at every little noise and sudden movement, it was a hard habit to break. She tried to shake the tension in her limbs, but this was something that was going to take days, weeks, maybe months to get used to.

She closed her eyes, trying to clear her mind, and listened to Joel rummaging through the kitchen, taking stock of what they had. His presence in the next room was about the only thing keeping her from pacing back and forth in apprehension. He was a welcome source of comfort.

Joel entered the room, rubbing his hands together to shake the dust off. "Well, looks like Tommy stocked us up with some canned goods, some plates and silverware-"

"You mean civil ware?" Ellie interjected with a smirk.

Joel chuckled. "Cute. Fridge seems to work. Also looks like the microwave still works… somehow…"

Ellie sprung off the couch. "Really? I've never seen one in working order before! Let's cook something!"

"But they're putting together a feast in our honor tonight. We don't want to spoil our appetites for that. Some other time… how about breakfast tomorrow?"

Ellie pouted at him, but understood his point and returned to her position on the couch with a sigh of surrender. "I suppose."

Joel walked over and slumped into the easy chair, letting out a long sigh himself. "So... what do you think about all this?"

Ellie's eyes danced across the ceiling. "Man... I dunno yet. It's pretty overwhelming."

Joel stared far past the opposite wall, reminiscing on the last time he sat in a living room, free of any real anxiety or tension. Consequently, that moment was the one he shared with Sarah the night of the outbreak, watching TV with her until she fell asleep.

A knock at the door pulled him out of his thoughts. He rose and answered the door to find Tommy.

"Joel. Ellie. What do you guys think of the house?" he asked eagerly.

"It's-" Joel began.

"Perfect," Ellie finished, joining him at the door.

"Glad to hear it. You guys ready to eat like you haven't in years?"

Ellie looked up at Joel, eyes bright with anticipation. "Absolutely!"

"Well, come on then… to the mess hall," Tommy beckoned.

Ellie sprung through the door and skipped down the walk. Joel began following her, but turned back and shut the door, a practice he would have to get used to once again. He joined Tommy and Ellie outside the fence and the three began walking down the street toward the mess hall.

Tommy observed the two of them marveling over the town as they walked. "I, uh… I can imagine this is gonna be quite a transition for you two. We've had families show up from time to time and it always takes them a week or two to adjust to having a somewhat 'normal' life again. Not having to look over your shoulder constantly. Most of us had given up on the idea of a 'normal' life, but this is as close as it gets," he said, waving to a passerby. "Hey Jerry, get to the mess hall! The welcome feast is startin' soon!"

"You invite the whole town or somethin'?" Joel asked.

"Pretty much, except those guardin' the perimeter. We keep the wall staffed with lookouts and have a couple outposts a little ways into the woods. Everyone takes turns on the rotation… I'm sure you'll be wrangled into that after you guys settle in," he said, gesturing to Joel.

"What about me?" Ellie piped in.

Tommy looked at her quizzically. "What _about_ you?"

"Well, I could help be a lookout. I'm a good shot, just ask Joel."

Tommy glanced at his brother, who nodded in confirmation. "She's literally saved my ass more than once… couple months back we were passin' through Sinclair, Wyoming and-"

"Joel, let me tell this story, you'll just fuck up the details 'cause you were unconscious for part of it," Ellie interjected.

"Hold your horses, you two. Story like this needs a better audience than just little old me. You'll have plenty of opportunities to regale us with your tall tales," Tommy assured.

Before they knew it, the trio had arrived before the mess hall. It appeared to have been some sort of government building in a previous life, and the townsfolk had taken advantage of the sizeable cafeteria for events such as this. Tommy led them into the spacious main hall of the cafeteria where they were greeted by a hundred and fifty or so faces of the residents of Jackson.

"Wow…" Ellie said breathlessly as she scanned over the crowd in disbelief. She hadn't seen this many non-Infected people in one place since the days of military preparatory school orientation. The demographics were broad, and mostly seemed to be composed of families. There were kids too, most of them younger than her, but a few around the same age.

Her eyes settled on what appeared to be a "head table" and found Maria beckoning them over. Tommy led them over to the table and showed them their seats. Joel pulled Ellie's out for her and took his own seat after she was situated. The table was set with plates, glasses of water, and silverware; more commodities that Ellie hadn't seen since the preparatory school. She ran her fingers over the cold metal silverware and the smooth porcelain of the plate, considerably nicer than the pressed metal trays back at school.

Tommy stood and tapped his knife on his glass to quiet the commotion hovering over the room. "Everyone, everyone, please! Listen up! Tonight is, uh… well, it's a night I honestly thought I might never see. For those of you who don't know, this is my older brother Joel, and, uh… this is Ellie. They've been on a long, long journey all the way from Boston, and have finally made it here to settle with us. I want you all to give them a warm welcome!"

The crowd responded to the call with clapping and cheering. Ellie's eyes wandered over their faces, dazed by the whole experience. Joel turned to look at her and saw the look on her face. He smiled and patted her on the back, bringing her gaze to his face where she returned the smile. She had never experienced the feeling of 'celebrity' and wasn't sure she liked all the attention.

"Now," Tommy continued, "It just so happens that the hunting party got a couple elk yesterday. With a lot of hard work, the cooks here were able to put together what should be a fine meal for everyone." He paused, and picked up his glass, holding it aloft. "Today… today we gained another family. Let's use this moment to reflect on everything we have and be grateful for it, in light of everything, and everyone, that we've lost." His eyes turned to Joel and a look of empathy was sent to him. "To second chances."

Joel raised his glass, and Ellie followed suit. "To second chances."

All that were gathered toasted each other and everything they were thankful for. Many reminisced on loved ones they had lost. Joel's mind drifted to the thought of his daughter, and he grew quiet, zoning out on the table before them. Ellie looked over at him and, seeing his expression, placed a hand on his arm for comfort. Her touch pulled him back to the present, and turning to her, he smiled. He missed Sarah more than anything, but he was grateful to have Ellie by his side.

Some of the townspeople came around with trays of food and began loading up plates with elk pot roast and meager but welcome portions of potatoes and beans. They even brought small homemade biscuits. Tommy had said they had crops and livestock, so these foods were now available to enjoy again. Ellie hadn't had a bite of bread since she was at school, and it wasn't very good in her memory. She sunk her teeth into the still-warm biscuit and reveled in the burst of flavor.

"Ellie," Tommy called. "How long has it been since you've had a glass of milk?"

She picked her brain, trying to remember. "Probably… years? I'm not sure. I've forgotten how it tastes."

Tommy gestured at a boy who was probably in his late teens, holding a stainless steel carafe. The boy handed him the carafe and Tommy filled Ellie's glass. "Go on, take a drink of that."

The cool liquid passed through Ellie's lips and onto her tongue, and the creamy flavor evoked memories of childhood. She was maybe five or six years old, and one of the soldiers who, unbeknownst to Ellie, had been paid to look after her had snuck her a small flask of milk from the lone dairy farmer in the zone. She had delighted in the flavor then as now.

"Mmmmm… oh man…" is all she managed to say.

The aromas and flavors of the meal really exposed to her how poor of a cook Joel was, but she didn't care. He had kept her alive. She was particularly fond of the elk pot roast. It was juicy and seasoned to perfection.

Before long, Ellie realized she had completely cleaned her plate. She had eaten so ravenously that she hadn't bothered to pay attention to how full she was getting. She leaned back to catch her breath, and rubbed her hands over her distended stomach. "I think I overdid it," she groaned.

Joel chuckled. "Yeah, you'll be paying for that later."

Maria had been observing the two of them quietly for most of the meal, trying to get a feel for the dynamic between them. Tommy had told her about Sarah when he showed her the photograph, and with that knowledge, she had come to understand Joel's reluctance to draw close to Ellie last fall when he tried to hand her off to Tommy. She was more than relieved when Tommy returned to Jackson and told her what had happened that evening after Ellie had run off.

"So… did you guys end up finding what you were looking for?" Maria finally asked. "After you left last fall, I mean."

Ellie's demeanor became a bit melancholic, and Joel took note. He spoke up quickly. "You know, why don't we leave that discussion for another time. Maybe once we're more settled. Let's just let tonight be about celebratin' makin' it back here in one piece."

Ellie was relieved and a bit conflicted at the same time. Relieved because she didn't want to think about what had happened in Salt Lake City, about how everything had 'been for nothing' after all, and conflicted because of Joel's quick deflection of the question. He was even less eager to talk about it than she was. She thought she caught a hint of guilt on his face when he spoke. But maybe he just felt guilty on her behalf, that their long journey had all been for nothing. Maybe he felt responsible for that somehow, though it seemed to have been out of his hands.

After everyone had eaten, some families came and approached the head table. Tommy and Maria introduced each of them as they greeted Joel and Ellie. All of the new faces and names were overwhelming, and the two of them were already exhausted.

Joel caught a glimpse of Ellie's pleading glance, and pulled Tommy aside. "Tommy, we're both pretty spent. I think we're gonna turn in for the night."

Tommy looked back and forth between them. "Sure. I can see the exhaustion on your faces. I'll take care of everything here, you two go get some rest and I'll see you tomorrow."

Joel led Ellie as they slipped out of the mess hall and out onto the street. The streetlights cast cones of light onto the pavement below, lighting their way as they walked. Neither could remember the last time they had walked down an avenue lit by electricity, stomachs beyond full, deeply-ingrained tension finally easing into calm. Was this all real?

They turned down their street and came before the house Tommy had given them. Ellie looked up at it, her fondness toward it already growing. "We're home."

"Home…" the word felt unfamiliar to say. Joel wrapped an arm around Ellie as they stood before their home. "C'mon kiddo. Let's get some shut-eye."

Joel closed the door behind them and gave the porch light a try. To his surprise, it illuminated. Tommy had thought of everything. He turned to follow Ellie upstairs.

By reflex she turned and walked into Joel's room. "Hey, you got a room of your own now, y'know."

She stopped just past the doorway. "Right. I forgot," she said as she turned and walked hesitantly into her own room.

Ellie sat down on the edge of the mattress and pulled her knees up to her chest. She wasn't sold on this room just yet. She dragged her eyes over the room, which suddenly seemed much more vast than it had earlier. A feeling of loneliness began to edge its way into her soul.

Joel appeared in the doorway. "Look, uh… I know this is your room and all, but uh…" He wasn't sure how to say this without feeling foolish. "If you get lonely or anything, I'm just down the hall… don't feel like you're intrudin' or whatever."

She smiled. "Thanks, Joel."

"Goodnight, kiddo."

"Night."

She lasted maybe twenty minutes wide awake on the mattress before grabbing her pillow, padding silently down the hall, and opening Joel's door. Peering in, she found him on his side, facing the wall, breathing deeply and slowly. As quietly and gingerly as she could, she made her way over and eased onto the mattress, curling up next to him. In moments, she was fast asleep. Joel smiled to himself. _Goodnight, baby girl_.

* * *

**AFTERMATH: PART II WILL CONTINUE**

**WITH CHAPTER 3**


	3. Chapter 3 - Truth

**A/N: And I'm back. Sorry for the long delay between chapters... life got pretty busy in the past week or so, and writing fell to the wayside. I'll try to get back to being more consistent. So here's chapter 3, and things get sort of... intense. I don't think everything is going to be all peachy-keen, ride-off-into-the-sunset-together for Joel and Ellie. Their relationship is going to be tested, cracks are going to show, and it won't be easy. I'm excited about where this is going to go, and it's gonna get real intense at times.**

**Again, broken record announcement: thanks to anyone who has ever read this or sent a message or written a review. You guys sure know how to make someone feel good, and I'm ecstatic that you've enjoyed reading this as much as I've enjoyed writing it. Anyway, here's the chapter.**

**DISCLAIMER/LEGAL MUMBO-JUMBO: I do not own The Last of Us, it is Naughty Dog's property.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 3**

**TRUTH**

Sunbeams pouring in from the open window illuminated the specks of floating dust as Ellie watched them dance on the air currents. The sunlight crept down the wall and finally onto the mattress, bathing her in a warm glow. She didn't want to move, warm and comfortable under the blanket, and she shut her eyes to bask in the light. Staying there forever sounded like the best idea she had ever come up with, but to her chagrin, she felt Joel stir next to her. _So much for that_, she thought.

Joel rolled over. "Mornin', sunshine."

Ellie tried to make it obvious she didn't want to move, and nuzzled into the blanket. "Good morning," she murmured through a smile.

"Rise and shine!" Joel said, sitting up and pulling the blanket off of her. Miffed at the robbery of her warm, cozy shroud, her eyes bored into him in an effort to set him ablaze. Failing in the attempt, she reached her arms far over her head in her usual morning stretch, letting her trademark squeak escape through her nose.

Joel had risen and was looking out the window of the bedroom. It was a beautiful summer morning in Jackson. A soft breeze was blowing, birds were greeting the day with song, and the townspeople were beginning to emerge from their houses.

Ellie rose and checked her ponytail, joining Joel at the window. He moved to the side to give her a better view, and she placed her elbows on the sill, crossing her arms before her. Joel drew in a deep breath of the fresh air, and Ellie reveled in the warm glow of the morning sun on her skin.

From the second story of the house, they had a decent view of Jackson before them. Their house was on a hill, and the city blanketed a valley nestled in the mountains. In the clear morning air, it almost looked normal to Joel. Besides the weathered condition of the houses, and the visible fences and towers at the edges of the town, this place was as close a resemblance of the pre-outbreak world as he'd seen.

"Can't deny that view," he said softly. Ellie smiled in response. Joel gave her a soft whack on the shoulder. "C'mon kiddo. You excited to see how that microwave works?"

* * *

Ellie watched the shallow bowl spin within the mysterious device. It all seemed so magical: cold food goes in, hot food comes out. No fire necessary. It was so amazingly convenient.

Without warning, the microwave shut off. "Huh…" Joel remarked. "Usually these things have a sort of… alarm, or beeper, that tells you when the food's done. This one must be broken." He opened the door and removed the bowl. The canned beef stew steamed and put off an aroma that made Ellie's eyes light up with anticipation. "Here you go," Joel said, handing her the bowl before setting to fix himself a bowl of his own.

"That's it?" Ellie inquired. "It's that easy?"

"Yup. We took these things for granted back then… didn't even realize how lucky we were." He remained silent for the remainder of the cooking cycle as he reminisced on days past.

They sat together at the kitchen table, eating their stew contentedly, before being interrupted by a knock at the door. Joel rose to answer it, and Ellie followed close behind out of curiosity. Joel opened the door to reveal Tommy and Maria standing on the doorstep.

"Mornin' you two. How was your first night in your new home?" Tommy asked.

"Uh… restful. Gonna take awhile before I'm used to sleepin' without one eye open," Joel replied.

Tommy looked at him in understanding. "You'll get there. Just takes time."

"Ellie," Maria said, drawing her attention. "What do you say you and I go for a walk, meet some of the kids your age here?"

Ellie turned to Joel with a look of reluctance. Though she wasn't sure if she could fully trust him anymore, she still didn't want him out of her sight.

He saw the look in her eyes. It was the same look when they first separated at the dam the previous fall, in a situation much like this. "Go on, then. You'll be fine. Make some new friends, hm?"

She sighed. "Alright."

"Joel and I are gonna do the mornin' rounds… we'll take a ride around the perimeter, show him the checkpoints and watch towers, head into the woods to check on the outposts too," Tommy informed. "I promise to bring him back in one piece."

Ellie cracked a wry grin. "You better."

Maria chuckled. "Alright, c'mon Ellie."

Joel watched them head down the street. Ellie turned back only once to make sure he was still there.

"Okay, Joel. Let's get to the stables," Tommy said.

Tommy led them to the edge of town where the horses were kept. Joel had been keeping an eye out for something as they strolled through town, but the search was fruitless.

"Hey Tommy," he started. "Uh… how far is it to the nearest… uh… pond, or lake… or some body of water without much current?"

Tommy studied his face, pondering the quizzical inquiry. "Flat Creek passes right through town. Current ain't too strong. If you head out of town a bit north, there's a place where it widens a bit, and long as you stay out of the main current, you'd think it's a lake."

Joel nodded in appreciation. "Thanks, little brother."

"You, uh… plannin' on fishin' or somethin'?"

Joel shrugged. "I said I'd do somethin' for Ellie. Gonna make good on my word, that's all."

"Ah," Tommy replied, accepting the vague answer. At that moment, they arrived at the stables. "We're here."

Tommy set to saddling up the horses while Joel leaned up against the wall of the stable, looking out silently at the street outside. He got the feeling that Tommy had pulled him away from Ellie to ask him what had happened with the Fireflies. How could he respond? Tommy had always been able to tell when he was lying.

He had to tell him the truth. Tommy would understand. _My cause is my family now_, his words echoed in Joel's brain. He'd understand. How could he not, after watching Joel lose Sarah?

"Joel, you ready?" Tommy's call snapped Joel back to the present.

"Yeah."

They mounted the horses and made their way toward the front gate. Tommy introduced Joel to the guards and implied that Joel would be joining them taking turns at their posts before too long. He then lead them to the each of the other entrances to Jackson, where similar exchanges with the guards took place. Finally, they reached the north gate, and after speaking with the sentries, ventured beyond it into the woods.

They came to the bank of Flat Creek, where it widened into a pool, the water a shimmering glass pane in the late morning light.

"This the kind of place you're lookin' for?" Tommy asked.

Joel surveyed the water. "Yeah, this'll do."

Tommy stared over the water for a couple minutes. With his eyes still fixed on the water, he spoke. "So… tell me what happened last fall. I can gather that something went down. I can see it in your eyes."

Joel likewise stared out at the tranquil pool. He considered how to tell the story without getting Tommy upset at him for his actions. "Well… the university was abandoned. Or at least, the Fireflies had abandoned it."

"Serious?" Tommy turned to him.

"Mmm-hmm."

Tommy's gaze returned to the water. "I'm sorry. Last I heard, that's where they were."

"Nothin' to be sorry about, Tommy. You couldn't have known. They had packed up and left for Salt Lake City. St. Mary's Hospital. Found a lab recorder from the head scientist sayin' where they'd went. Ellie and I had resolved to head there from the university when we ran into some hunters."

"Shit."

"Yeah. Deep shit," Joel replied, pulling up the edge of his shirt to reveal the dark scar tissue of the puncture wound.

"Holy hell… what happened?"

"Took a nice fall onto a piece of rebar. Damn near killed me. If it hadn't been for-" something caught in Joel's throat, but he cleared it away before continuing. "If it hadn't been for Ellie, I'd be dead. She fought off the remaining hunters, stitched me up, even managed to trade for some medicine. She… she saved my life."

"Well… she's certainly more capable than I thought at first blush," Tommy remarked.

Joel huffed. "You have no idea." His eyes hadn't left the water before them. "Winter was… hell. Once we were healthy enough to travel again, we pushed on towards Salt Lake City. During that trip is where the Sinclair story comes in, but Ellie wants to tell that one, so you'll have to ask her."

"What do you mean 'once _we_ were healthy enough?' Did something happen to Ellie?" Tommy asked.

Pain coursed through Joel's face as he remembered when he had found her in the restaurant, hacking away at David's face. He remembered the long process of healing those wounds, a process that was still ongoing. "Yeah…" he replied somberly. "Look, it's a long story, but she's got… there's psychological wounds that still need to be healed there."

Tommy didn't dare pry. "Okay… so, what happened in Salt Lake City?"

Joel cringed. "Well… we found the Fireflies."

Tommy looked at him, expecting him to say more. "...and?"

"Ellie and I were trying to get to the hospital. The only approach was the tunnel they had turned into a medical evacuation route. After getting past a wave of Infected, we came to section of the tunnel that was rushing with floodwaters. Long story short, Ellie fell in while tryin' to save my ass after I fell into a bus and was trapped in the current, and she can't swim…"

Suddenly, Joel's interest in a calm body of water made a lot more sense to Tommy.

"She nearly drowned. I pulled her from the water and tried to revive her. That's when the Fireflies showed up and knocked me out."

"Shit."

"Next thing I know, I wake up in a hospital room. You're old friend Marlene was there. Told me that they had brought Ellie back."

"Been years since I've heard that name… how's Marlene doin'?"

Joel ignored the question. "I wanted to see Ellie. Marlene said I couldn't. Said she was bein' prepped for surgery."

The color began to leave Tommy's face, and he could gather where this was going. "Joel…"

"In order to find a cure, they'd have to cut out her brain," Joel continued, eyes fixed on the water, pools forming at the bottom of his eyelids to match the one before him.

"What did you do…" distress had entered Tommy's voice as his eyes bored into Joel.

"I… couldn't… I couldn't lose her… not another…" Joel's voice failed.

"Oh God… Joel, what did you do?" Tommy pleaded.

"I goddamn killed them. All of them. Anyone that got in my way went down by my hand. They weren't goin' to… I sure as hell wasn't gonna let them… take…" tears began to fall from Joel's eyes.

Joel had killed scores of men in the twenty years since the outbreak, often without remorse or emotion, but seeing him worked up over this instance of slaughter struck Tommy. He tried to quell his anger through understanding, but was failing to do so.

"... and Marlene?" Tommy asked.

"She… she would have come after Ellie… you know she would have…"

"Jesus Christ…" Tommy dismounted his horse and put his hands on his head, trying to process everything he had just heard. "What have you done…"

Joel also dismounted his horse, getting rather worked up himself. "They didn't give me a choice. Hell, they didn't give _her_ a choice!"

"The hell you mean?"

"They never asked her permission! Never revived her! Just sedated her and prepped her for surgery! She wasn't given a choice…"

Tommy got up into Joel's face. "So you think that gives you the right to slaughter dozens of people!? Tell me, right here, right now, no bullshit… if she was given the choice, what do you think she would have chosen?"

Joel hesitated. It was the same point Marlene had brought up when she confronted him in the parking garage. _It's what she'd want… and you know it…_

"It don't matter… she's… she can't… make that kind of decision. She's just a kid," Joel stammered as he turned to face the water again.

"So you went ahead and made that decision for her… you think that's right? You're not her goddamn dad, Jo-"

Tommy's words were cut short by the fist that struck his cheekbone. A boil of rage had ruptured in the pit of Joel's stomach, and he stood over Tommy, knuckles throbbing from the blow, anger brimming in his eyes. Tommy looked up at Joel, stunned.

"Don't you fuckin' tell me what I am and what I'm not! You have no idea the hell I've been through with that little girl!" Joel spat.

Joel had always had a short temper, but Tommy knew when he had really crossed a line. He had obviously struck a nerve, and it became clear then that Ellie was more dear to Joel than he had realized. Maybe Joel _did_ view himself as her dad. He stared at Joel, trying to decipher his behavior.

After a couple of minutes of pacing, Joel's anger subsided. "Look Tommy… I'm… I'm sorry, okay? It's just…" he struggled with the words, "... she's all I've got."

"No, I get it."

"You once told me that your cause was your family now. Surely, you have to understand why I… why I did what I did…"

Tommy brushed himself off and approached Joel, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I do. Especially in light of… of losin' Sarah… I can understand you not wantin' to go through somethin' like that again…"

Joel stared at the water. "Yeah."

"So… does Ellie know about all of this?"

Joel cringed. "No."

"Excuse me?" Tommy asked, growing incredulous once again.

"Far as she knows, we found the Fireflies, they had stopped looking for a cure and let us go."

"You lied to her?"

"I had to, Tommy. If I had told her the truth, she... might have…" Joel trailed off.

Tommy took a step back. Joel _needed_ this girl. "So you fight your way to her, rescue her from the Fireflies because they were gonna kill her without givin' her a choice, and then you lied to her about it?"

"You don't understand. I gave her an out, Tommy. I lied to her so that she could have a life without guilt. Can't you at least understand that?"

Tommy studied him again, and then shook his head. "I can't. Not yet, anyway." He walked over and mounted his horse. "Maybe with time. But, look, Joel… Ellie needs to know the truth. Wouldn't you rather have her hear it from you than find out another way?"

Joel pondered this while stepping up into the saddle. "Perhaps someday, when the time is right."

"Alright, then. Let's go check on the outpost before headin' back to town."

"Lead the way, little brother."

* * *

**AFTERMATH: PART II WILL CONTINUE**

**WITH CHAPTER 4**


	4. Chapter 4 - Doubt

**A/N: Word of advice, everyone. Don't make promises you can't keep. Though, technically I suppose I didn't promise anything, I nonetheless feel guilty about such long delays between chapters, especially after saying I'd try to get back to regular updating. Oh well, it is what it is. I'm not going to make the same mistake this time. All I'm going to say is this: there will be a chapter 5, and I will post it when I finish it. It might be a couple days, it might be a week, it might be two. Time will tell. Anyhow, here's chapter 4.**

**DISCLAIMER/LEGAL MUMBO-JUMBO: I do not own The Last of Us, it is Naughty Dog's property.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 4**

**DOUBT**

"Are you sure you're fine waiting here by yourself?" Maria asked.

"Yes, I'm sure," Ellie said with no small hint of annoyance.

Maria looked at her skeptically, but finally conceded. "Alright. If I see Joel on the way back, I'll let him know you're waiting for him."

"Thanks."

Maria turned and walked down the path back toward the street, passing through the gap in the picket fence and heading toward her and Tommy's house. Ellie leaned against the beam of the porch, watching Maria until she disappeared from sight.

Their walk hadn't been unpleasant by any means. She got to meet a couple of kids her age, but none of them really interested her that much. Most of them had been living either in quarantine zones or in Tommy's town for the majority of their lives. They hadn't been on the road for a year, seeing the things she had seen, doing the things she had done. They were still sheltered. Still retained some sense of innocence. They were still kids.

Ellie kept her eyes on the street, waiting to see Joel come into view. After realizing she had no idea how long it would be until he returned, she decided to take advantage of the chair sitting on the porch. She pulled chair forward so she could put her feet up on the railing while she sat.

The sun was careening toward the horizon as the late hours of the afternoon transitioned into evening. Ellie reached down to check and clean her switchblade, a habit she had taken to whenever she was bored, but was reminded she had left it on the windowsill in the extra room upstairs. She let air buzz through her lips in equal parts frustration and boredom.

Rising to her feet, she scanned the porch, looking for something to occupy her wandering mind. Thoughts and suspicions about Joel and what he had told her on the ridge over Jackson had their way of seeping into her idle ruminations, so she went out of her way to keep herself occupied. She stepped out onto the lawn and headed to the backyard.

From the various items scattered across the lawn, she could gather that their house had once belonged to a family. There was a picnic table in the backyard, a rusted grill, and a dilapidated jungle gym. Ellie marveled at the jungle gym, imagining what it was like to just play on one in a quiet backyard, with no Infected or hunters to worry about. She came close to climbing onto it to find out, but brushed the thought away.

Something small in the corner of the backyard caught her eye, and she sauntered over to it. It was a plot of dirt, marked by a small, weathered wooden cross with the name "Cosmo" carved into it. It must have been a grave for a pet. A dog, maybe. Ellie had always enjoyed animals, and had secretly wanted a puppy her whole life, but it was a luxury no one could afford. Perhaps now that they had settled down, it would become a possibility.

Ellie sat down cross-legged in front of the grave and stared at it for awhile. It reminded her of the one she and Joel had stumbled across outside Tommy's dam, which, in turn, reminded her of the ones she had insisted they dig for Henry and Sam. Sam's death was another contributor to Ellie's reluctance to connect with any of the children in town. The last two kids her age she had befriended died in front of her and, fair or not, the idea of that happening again had left her shut off to others her age.

Beyond that, Joel had taught her, amongst a myriad of other things, that you can't trust anyone. Ellie was beginning to wonder if even Joel himself was subject to that rule, especially after his patchwork story about Salt Lake City. Too much of it didn't make sense. Why did she wake up in a "hospital gown," still groggy as the "drugs were wearing off?" How were there supposedly "dozens of people" just like her? Marlene had made it quite clear that Ellie was the only case she was aware of. Could dozens of people really have come out of the woodwork in just a year?

Ellie snapped back to the present to realize she had risen and begun pacing. She kicked herself for letting her mind doubt Joel. He wouldn't lie to her, not about something like that. And even if he did lie, he must have had a damn good reason for doing so. She turned toward the house and went inside, absentmindedly heading upstairs. She headed towards her room, but hesitated at the door of the unused bedroom. Walking over to it, she peered her head in. The switchblade was still right where she had left it. Satisfied, she headed back to her room and plopped down on the mattress. There she lay, head propped up against the wall, staring at the ceiling while waiting for Joel to return.

She blew a few stray strands of hair out of her face and dragged her backpack up next to her. Her hands rummaged around for a few seconds until they found the secret compartment. The familiar tattered paper greeted her fingertips as they reached inside the compartment, and she pulled out the spattered letter. Her fingers passed over the bloody imprints left by someone else's fingers stained on the top of the page. It was a mystery who they belonged to. Were they her mother's? Marlene's?

Her eyes pored over the words that she'd read hundreds of times. _Life is worth living!_ Ellie read over the words again and again, as if the repetition in her head would make her believe it. _Find your purpose and fight for it._ Ellie blinked and read over the sentence again, struck by the words. They were so similar to something Joel had said before entering Jackson. _No matter what, you keep findin' something to fight for._ Ellie looked up from the letter and stared blankly at the opposite wall. She had brushed Joel off when he had said that on the ridge, but now, the juxtaposition of his words with those penned by her mother forced her to revisit what he had said.

Ellie replayed the scene in her head. She could feel the soft breeze on her skin, and picture the overcast sky above them, the houses lining the valley of Jackson framed behind Joel.

"I struggled for a long time with survivin'... and…" Joel's hand unconsciously reached for the broken watch, rubbing his fingers over the cracked face. "No matter what…" he was struggling with the words, "... you keep findin' something to fight for." Ellie sighed in frustration. "Now I know that's not what you want to hear right now, but it's-"

"Swear to me…"

Ellie stared at the far wall of the bedroom. What was her purpose? What was she fighting for, now that this chance of redemption with the Fireflies had been extinguished? What about Joel? What was he fighting for?

"Ellie?"

Her eyes left the far wall and moved to the doorway to find Joel peering around the partially-open door. She had been so deep in thought she hadn't even heard him enter the house.

"You're back," she remarked.

"Yeah. You hungry?"

As if on cue, her stomach grumbled. She looked down at it and back at Joel. "Apparently."

He chuckled. "Hey, what's that you got there?"

Ellie's eyes fell to the letter in her hands. "Oh, it's…" she hesitated. She wasn't sure if she wanted to let Joel into this part of her life. "It's a letter."

"From who?"

"My mother."

A look of surprise crossed Joel's face. "Serious?"

Ellie nodded. "Mmm-hmm. She must have written it right before she died. It was given to me in a package along with her switchblade."

Joel studied her for a moment. Before he could say anything, Ellie folded up the letter and placed it in her backpack.

She popped up off of the bed. "Well… you were saying something about food?"

"Yeah. C'mon."

* * *

"Sho…" Ellie murmured through a mouthful of stew. "How wash the walk to shee the gatesh and outposhtsh with Tommy?"

Joel looked at her with a smirk. "How 'bout you swallow your food before you talk, hm?"

Ellie looked up at him and teasingly showed him a mouthful of masticated stew.

"Cute. It was alright," he replied tersely.

"Alright? You two get to catch up a bit, at least?"

Joel's gaze suddenly left the room and focused on something miles away. Before Ellie could comment, his attention returned. "Yeah."

Ellie didn't pick up on his demeanor, picking up some more stew with her spoon. "Must have been nice, catching up with dear old brother, huh?"

"Sure," Joel nodded and, succumbing to the pressure of guilt on his mind, quickly changed the subject. "How was your walk with Maria?"

Ellie shrugged and shoveled the spoonful of stew into her mouth. After making sure to chew and swallow the bite, she replied, "It was alright."

"Alright?" Joel asked, mirroring Ellie's tone from moments before, conjuring an eye-roll from his companion. "Did you meet any kids your age?"

She nodded. "Yeah, there were a few. None nearly as badass as me, though," she said proudly.

"I reckon you're right about that."

They sat together eating their stew silently for a few minutes. Ellie eventually broke the silence. "Hey Joel? Do you think… I mean, if the situation arises… if it's even a possibility, that… we could… get a puppy?" she asked timidly.

Joel ran a hand over his beard. "A puppy, hmmm? Well, I reckon we'd have to find one first. Domesticated dogs are pretty hard to find these days. Tommy had one at the dam, though… I suppose I could ask around…"

Ellie was ecstatic at the fact that he hadn't immediately shot down the idea. "Really?"

"Sure, why not? A dog might be nice to have around. If we get him young we can train him to be a guard dog for our house."

Ellie sprung up from her seat and started tugging at Joel's arm. "Fuck this! Let's go, right now! C'mon, let's go! Let's go find a puppy!"

He paused for a moment and soaked in this moment, seeing Ellie truly being the kid the world had obscured. Finally, he brushed her off his sleeve. "Slow down, kiddo, what's the rush? I'll ask Tommy if he has any puppy connections tomorrow. It's gettin' dark out."

She relented and sulked back to her seat. "Fiiine."

Joel was amused at her behavior. If he was being honest with himself, he had missed it. He hadn't seen these kinds of theatrics since Sarah. He stood up and took their plates to the sink. "Lookin' forward to havin' runnin' water again," he said.

"I'm looking forward to experiencing indoor plumbing."

Joel smiled. "C'mon. What say you read me one of them comics you're so fond of. Try to explain to me what all the fuss is about."

* * *

Joel gently slid the comic out from under Ellie's head. She hadn't quite made it through the third comic of the night before sleep took her, and Joel watched her drift off mid-sentence, quite entertained by it. He gingerly lifted her head to slip her pillow underneath it and brushed the rebellious lock of hair behind her ear once again.

"Night, baby girl," he whispered.

He eased himself down on the other side of the mattress, trying not to disturb her. It was becoming quite clear to him that Ellie's bedroom likely wouldn't be getting much use for awhile. He was okay with that, comforted by her presence and the knowledge that she was safe.

Joel stared out the window, waiting for sleep to come. The stars over Wyoming shone bright in the clear night air. The distant lights gave him a moment of pause, as he reflected on the scale of everything and on his place in it all. What might be the most valuable asset in the entire universe was curled up asleep next to him. He couldn't hold back the wave of guilt that broke over him. He fought it with every fiber of his being, but ultimately, his energy gave out as sleep plunged him into another dream.

* * *

**AFTERMATH: PART II WILL CONTINUE**

**WITH CHAPTER 5**


	5. Chapter 5 - Fear

**A/N: Alright, did a little better on the update time. Dreams always get the creative juices flowing. They're probably my favorite thing to write because they can be so fantastical and you can really delve into some interesting themes. Love to write them. I actually had intended to go somewhere else with this chapter before remembering that I ended the previous one with a precursor to a dream sequence, so now I can save that for Chapter 6. This chapter here gets pretty emotional at times. It gets pretty heavy, and the sequence of the dream actually ended up being pretty hard to write, as I imagined the scene in my head. It's horrifying. *shudder* Anyways, here's the chapter. Please read, review, and enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER/LEGAL MUMBO-JUMBO: I do not own The Last of Us, it is Naughty Dog's property.**

* * *

**CHAPTER** **5**

**FEAR**

Joel turned the handle and threw his weight into the door, flinging it open. The operating room was dimly lit; far too dimly lit for surgery. The air was thick and heavy, with a sweet, sickly scent permeating the room. Three figures surrounding the operating table turned to look at him through empty eyes. Joel recoiled in horror at the sight of the doctors. Signs of infection pervaded their bodies, with flowering fungal growths protruding from various points of origin. Their joints cracked and popped as they turned to face him.

Suddenly, a bellowing voice shook the room, with deep undertones that made Joel's spine tingle. "You can't save her."

The three doctors parroted the phrase from the disembodied voice as they approached Joel with outstretched arms. "You can't save her. You can't save her. You can't-"

Joel raised the revolver and cut their words short. He scampered over the twitching corpses to reach the operating table when he realized what was so heavy on the air. Spores. He scanned the room to find blooming fungal horns spouting spores into the air. His gasmask was in his pack, but there was no time. He had to get Ellie out of that room.

Reaching the table, he stooped to remove the oxygen mask covering her face. He positioned his arms beneath her shoulders and legs and tried to pick her up, but she was planted to the table. He tried again, but she wouldn't budge. Joel's eyes danced over the operating table, searching for an explanation. Tendrils of fungus had begun creeping over her limbs and digging at her skin, pinning her to the table.

Joel steadied his resolve and tried again to free her from the grasp of the tendrils. "C'mon, baby girl. I gotcha. I gotcha." He strained against the fungus, hearing it crack and fracture. Ellie cried out in pain as the tendrils broke free. At that moment, more Infected broke into the room adjacent the operating room. Joel could hear their moans. "Oh shit."

Through their sputtering and shrieking, he could make out the words, "You can't save her." Joel turned to the back door of the room and fled, Ellie in his arms.

The hospital was a maze. Corridors led to dead ends and the floorplan was seemingly without structure, doubling back on itself. The disembodied voice shook the foundations again, taunting him. "You can't save her." The voice seemed to invade his very mind, echoing within his skull. "You can't save her."

Joel frantically searched for the way out, darting this way and that, with Ellie limp in his arms. "I'm gettin' you outta here, girl."

"Joel…" Ellie's weak voice muttered.

"I gotcha… I gotcha… c'mon…"

"Joel… something's wrong…" Ellie whimpered.

Joel looked down at her as he ran. She was holding a hand in front of her face. The tips of her fingers were beginning to disintegrate, transforming into spores and floating away on the air currents.

"Joel!" she cried in fear.

He looked down at her bare feet, likewise flaking away into spores. Averting his eyes and focusing on the corridor before them, he pushed on. "We're okay… we're okay…"

The clamoring of the Infected grew louder behind him. The horde's bellows had become a chant now. "You can't save her. You can't save her."

Joel kept running, turning down another corridor. An open elevator shone like a beacon in the distance. He glanced down at Ellie, who was now weeping in his arms. Her hands had disappeared, and her forearms were withering away as the spores continued to disperse. Her legs now ended at the knee. Her cries of anguish cut Joel to the core, and he held her close as he sprinted down the corridor toward the elevator.

Halfway down the corridor, something whizzed by Joel's head and erupted on the floor before them. A cloud of spores exploded in their path. He held his breath as he plunged through it. "Get back!" he shouted futilely. With every second, the weight in his arms lessened.

Finally, he stepped into the elevator and punched the "LL" button. The doors began to close, too slowly for Joel's taste. He watched the Infected approach through the ever-shrinking sliver between the closing doors. Right as they reached the elevator, they shut completely and the elevator began its descent.

Joel fell to his knees and cradled what was left of Ellie. He watched in horror as she continued to disintegrate, helpless to stop it. "Ellie, look at me, baby. Just keep lookin' at me," he pleaded.

"Joel… I…" she lost consciousness.

"Ellie!" he shook her and waited for a response. "Baby!" He pulled her close and cradled her head against his shoulder. "Don't do this to me, baby. Don't do this to me, baby girl. C'mon…" He felt the remains of the little girl dissolve into spores and drift away, leaving him with empty arms. "No… no… oh no, no, no… please… Oh, God… please, please don't do this. Please, God… not again..."

Joel collapsed, alone in the empty elevator, weeping openly in utter despair. The elevator continued its descent, finally coming to a stop. The doors opened to reveal an empty parking garage, the light of the elevator providing the only illumination. Out of the shadows, Joel looked up and saw the figure of Marlene emerge. She was Infected, twitching and convulsing in his direction. Her face had been cleaved in two by the cordyceps, and she emitted the telltale clicking noises. Joel couldn't stifle his weeping, betraying his position. Marlene entered the elevator, but Joel didn't even react, too distraught over losing Ellie. Marlene's teeth sunk into him, giving him a distraction from the pain. He didn't fight back.

* * *

Joel sat up with a start. His shirt and the musty mattress were drenched in cold sweat. He pressed his fingers into his eyes. "Oh God… that felt so damn real," he said to himself under his rapid breathing.

He looked over to check on Ellie, praying he'd find her safe and sound. She was awake, the moonlight glint revealing her eyes as she watched him intently.

"The dream?" she asked.

Joel sighed, heart still racing. "A new one." He took a deep breath and tried to calm down, but his body was saturated with tension and anxiety. "Ah, hell."

Ellie reached over to put a hand on his arm, but Joel abruptly stood and crossed the room. He pushed the casement window open, basking in the coolness of the night and resting his elbows on the sill. Ellie was concerned. It had been a long time since Joel shied away from her contact. "Joel?" He kept his eyes fixed on the stars. "What is it?"

He was silent for minutes, contemplating as he watched the night sky. Ellie was still lying on the mattress, having propped herself up on an elbow to watch him. His breathing finally returned to normal as he drew in the cool air.

By the way Ellie had been awake and watching him when he woke up, he was suspicious that he might have said something in his sleep. Something that might have revealed the truth about Salt Lake City. Eager to put those suspicions to rest, he went somewhere he wasn't sure he was ready to go.

"She… she was only twelve… when she died," he started. Ellie sat up immediately, intently listening. "She loved the… the worst music." He chuckled softly to himself. "Loved playin' soccer. She was strong. Independent. Older than her age. Like I said, I think the two of you would've been good friends."

His gaze never left the sky. Ellie sat quietly and let him continue.

"It was… man, I'll never forget the day. It was September twenty-sixth. Twenty-thirteen. My birthday." A clench started to form in Ellie's throat. "I had… had to work late that night. Tommy and I were fightin' to keep a construction contract, and workin' overtime to do it. Sarah… she was sleepin' on the couch when I walked in, waitin' for me to get home…"

He stopped to take a breath and steady himself, as his voice had begun to shake. Ellie noticed him reach down and massage the broken watch.

"She… she had stayed awake to give me a present. A watch." Ellie finally had an answer to the origin of Joel's prized broken wristwatch. "I still don't know where she got the money for it… she must have been savin' her allowance for months. Anyways, I put her to bed after she fell asleep on the couch and then turned on the news. It was chaos. Reporter said… said people were... goin' crazy. Attackin' each other. Somethin' about tainted crops makin' people sick." Joel ran his fingers over the peeling paint on the sill. "Told us to 'shelter in place.' Not to leave our homes. Well, I never been one for followin' orders, so I checked on Sarah and then went to check on our neighbors, the Coopers."

Joel faltered. Ellie could tell that it was painful for him to relive these memories. She arose from the mattress and quietly approached him. She lifted a hand and gently placed it on his back.

He continued, eyes still fixed outside. "Jimmy… he worked in the city, where they said the outbreak was the worse. He was… well, I didn't know it at the time, but I suppose he was a runner by then. There was a struggle. I broke away and raced back to the house. Sarah was awake, waitin' for me in the den. We had no idea what was goin' on… she was so scared." He paused and took a deep, even breath. "Jimmy broke through the slidin' glass door… I shot him. F-First person I ever killed. Just then, Tommy showed up in his truck and we tried to get out of the city. We passed our friend Louis's farm, his house was on fire. We saw cars crashed into light poles. Everything had gone to hell in a blink. Everyone else was tryin' to get out of the city, and in the rush of it all, our truck got broadsided. Sarah's leg was broken, and I had to carry her. We fled on foot towards the highway, runnin' from Infected the whole way. Tommy hung back to buy us some time. I… I swore to God that was the last time I would see him."

Joel cleared the clenching from his throat and pressed on. "I ran with Sarah in my arms. The Infected were right behind us. With every step, I was praying we'd get out of it somehow. Just before they caught us, they were mowed down in a hail of gunfire. A soldier with an assault rifle stood before us, and I thought… I thought we were safe."

Ellie could gather where this was going, and an ache of sorrow formed in the pit of her stomach. Joel continued. "He… he radioed to his superiors… they… they made the call. Sacrifice the few to save the many… whole fuckin' lot of good that did them." Ellie looked up at Joel to see wet paths down his cheeks glistening in the moonlight. His voice was shaking badly now.

"He opened fire. I tried to shield Sarah from the bullets, but one hit home… Jesus…" Joel had to stop, unable to continue until letting out a groan of sorrow and taking several breaths. "One hit home. Poor baby girl…" Tears began to pour from Ellie's eyes upon hearing those words, and she tried to stifle her sniffling. "I couldn't save her… before I knew it, she was… g-g-gone…"

Ellie couldn't help but wrap her arms around Joel and squeeze him tight. He returned her embrace and tried to keep it together, but was failing. "Fuck… I'm so sorry, Joel. I'm so, so sorry." Her heart broke for him. All this time she hadn't known how Joel had lost his daughter. She had assumed it was to the Infected, as most people were lost in the early stages of the outbreak. It wasn't until later that the likes of the hunters arose. But to hear that it was just regular, fellow human beings who had gunned her down in feeble hope of saving a few lives, Ellie shared Joel's despair vividly.

Joel fought back the grief of memories and tried to regain composure. His breathing returned from sporadic to slow and even as Ellie listened with an ear to his chest. Joel reached a sleeve up to wipe his face. "Shit… look at me, blubberin' like a goddamn baby."

Ellie giggled. "I won't tell anyone, I promise."

Joel smiled, and then felt a wave of exhaustion sweep over him. The dream meant he hadn't slept well, and revisiting the memories of that fateful night in Austin had taken more out of him than he realized. "I'm spent. What say we get back to bed, hm?" Ellie yawned in reply.

She returned to the mattress and made room for Joel. He stood at the window a moment longer, staring at the stars once again before pulling it closed. He joined Ellie and pulled the blanket over them both, lying on his back with his hands behind his head. He felt pressure on his left arm and looked over to find Ellie resting her head on it, facing him. She placed her left arm on his chest, trying to provide some comfort. He took her hand in his right and leaned over to kiss her on the forehead. "You get some sleep, alright?"

"Alright," she smiled.

He watched her until she was lightly snoring. A twinge of guilt worked its way back into his mind. He was starting to question if he had done the right thing when he lied to her before entering Jackson. The answer wasn't on the ceiling, but his eyes scoured it anyway. Finally, he succumed to the exhaustion and finished the night in a dreamless sleep.

* * *

**AFTERMATH: PART II WILL CONTINUE**

**WITH CHAPTER 6**


	6. Chapter 6 - Labors

**A/N: Oh man. Had a lot of fun with this chapter. It's good to get back to something lighthearted after the emotional wreck that was the last chapter. Feels good.**

**I know I've reiterated this a million times, but I'm going to do it again: sincerely, thank you to anyone who's ever left me a review or sent a message. Some of the things you've said have make me blush. You're too kind, seriously. Thank you.**

**Enjoy the chapter!**

**DISCLAIMER/LEGAL MUMBO-JUMBO: I do not own The Last of Us, it is Naughty Dog's property.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 6**

**LABORS**

"So all of the sudden, this fucker bashes Joel on the head with his shotgun!" Ellie recreated the motion in dramatic fashion as they walked, Tommy listening intently. Joel strode alongside him silently, smirk on his face, quite entertained by Ellie's theatrics. "I saw Joel drop like a sack of potatoes, and I knew I had to act fast. So I lined him up in the scope," Ellie brought the invisible rifle up to her cheek and lined up her shot on the imaginary hunter at the top of a distant building. She fingered the trigger. "POW! Blasted that fucker right through the forehead!"

"Goddamn!" Tommy exclaimed.

"But then I saw his buddy sprinting down the catwalk towards Joel, gun in hand. I had one bullet left, and he was running; a moving target. I lined him up, and led the shot like Joel taught me to. When he hit the ground, I could hardly believe it myself."

"Told ya she's a crack shot," Joel chimed in proudly. "Right in the forehead again. Saw it with my own two eyes." Ellie beamed at his endorsement.

"And all of that was after getting shot," she informed Tommy, rolling up her left sleeve to show off the scarred tissue where the bullet had winged her. "Not bad, right?"

"Well, I must say, Ellie… I'm impressed," Tommy answered. "Remind me not to get on your bad side." Ellie walked a bit taller upon his reply.

It had been two weeks since they arrived in Jackson, and Joel and Ellie were still working to adjust to the change. Joel was still as light of a sleeper as he'd ever been. Several nights he would spring out of bed at the sound of wind pushing the window shut or the house settling on its foundation, half-expecting to find an assailant in the room. Ellie found herself regularly checking over her shoulder as she walked about town, always wary of phantom hunters or listening for the sounds of Infected. But nothing ever came. The two of them felt reluctant to relinquish the vigilance that had meant survival on the road, yet paranoia within the confines of the city. Slowly, they were trying to weaken the grip of the tension that clung to their bones.

Tommy suggested they find something to put their minds at ease, and, not completely without selfish intent, recommended they find work, some way to help out around Jackson. Joel had tapped into his former abilities to help Tommy with some reconstruction efforts on particularly dilapidated buildings in the city, in addition to finally being dragged into guard rotation.

Tommy had pulled some strings to get Ellie a regular shift working in the stables, watching after the lot of horses. Typically, kids were more or less exempted from serious labor, instead being relegated to more menial tasks, but most of the adults in town had come to accept Ellie as an equal, not just another kid. She was still insisting she be given a shift at a guard tower, but Tommy hadn't ceded on that account just yet. Ellie hoped her story of proficiency with a rifle would sway his decision.

Today was to be her first day at the stables, and Joel had offered to walk her there with Tommy. The late-spring morning was bright and clear, sparse puffs of clouds dotting the sky. The three of them greeted the various townsfolk they passed on the way to the stables.

Ellie had requested the shift at the stables for a number of reasons. First of all, she loved horses. Ever since getting riding lessons through the mall from Winston in the Boston QZ, she had been fascinated by the creatures. But more than that, she preferred their company to other people, besides Joel and perhaps Tommy and Maria. She had spent a limited amount of time with the other kids her age, but found nothing to relate about. After all, she had killed more Infected than any of them and most of their parents combined. Most of these people weren't hardened survivors like her and Joel. They had ridden a wave of luck that brought them to the doorstep of Tommy's settlement.

All of this left Ellie rather isolated. She had Joel, and by extent, Tommy and Maria, and to her, that was enough. Her relational walls only came down when she was around Joel, and people took note of it. She was always more cheerful, lively, and receptive to interaction when she was with him. This led most people in town to assume that they were biological father and daughter, and neither Joel nor Ellie cared to correct their assumptions.

Upon rounding a corner, the stables came into view. The stables had been converted from what was once a rather sizeable rambler house. Walls had been knocked out and stalls erected to house several horses and ponies, and the roof was mostly intact, providing shelter for the animals and their keepers. A gruff-looking man greeted them at the entrance.

"Mornin', Grant," Tommy said.

Grant nodded. "Tommy. Joel." He turned to Ellie. "You must be Ellie. Don't believe I've had the pleasure," he said, extending a weathered hand.

Ellie shook it, taking note of the thickly calloused palms. She could gather that this was a man who had worked with his hands his entire life. He was probably a five to ten years older than Joel, hair more noticeably gray, but frame still strong and rugged. Most noticeable of all his features were his eyes. They were slightly sunken into his face, and matched the color of the morning spring sky, a light cloudless blue. Looking into them told a story; one of sadness, pain, and loss, but also hope.

He regarded her in a peculiar manner. Pleasant, but detached, the kind of man who was amiable when the situation required, but mostly kept to himself. This was the ideal kind of employer Ellie desired; someone who could offer guidance when needed without being overbearing. "Pleased to meet you, Grant," she responded.

Grant smiled briefly, and turned back to Joel and Tommy. "I got it from here. By week's end, this little sprite will be a seasoned pro."

Joel chuckled, "I don't doubt that, she's a quick study. But keep a close eye on her, or she'll try and run off with one of 'em."

Ellie scoffed. "Oh, c'mon, that was _one_ time."

"Alright, Grant, we'll get out of your hair," Tommy interjected. "C'mon, Joel."

"Now, Ellie, don't give Grant too hard of a time, hmm? Do as you're told," Joel said.

"Sure thing, pops," Ellie said whimsically, not realizing the implication in the words until they had left her lips.

Her reply gave Joel pause, if only for a moment. She caught the faintest hint of a smile at the corner of his mouth before he turned around and followed Tommy out of the stables. A butterfly fluttered in Ellie's stomach for a moment, but she squashed it immediately. She had never called Joel by anything besides his name, other than a jestful "old man" here and there. She had never called him "dad" or "father" or anything remotely close. Her eyes darted across the floor for a moment in bewilderment. Only Grant's words snapped her out of her temporary paralysis.

"Hey, Ellie! Let's get to it, hm?"

"Right."

Grant spent the rest of the morning showing Ellie around the stables. She was dying to interact with the horses themselves, and fought with her impatience while Grant showed her where they kept the hay, how they provided the animals with water, what to do in case of a fire, and various other pertinent information she would have to learn in order to become a competent stablehand. He informed her that he would be there to help her out when she needed it, and also gave her the overview of what he would remain in charge of: the daily logs. Grant had devised a thorough and detailed system for tracking who had and who was allowed to check horses in and out of the stables.

"Your stunt at the dam is the only time I've lost track of a horse," he said. "These are valuable creatures, even more so since the world went to hell. You bet your ass I've reworked my system to prevent something like that from ever happenin' again."

"You were there? Last fall?" Ellie asked.

"Mmm-hmm. You made quite an impression with that stunt. When they told me you were interested in workin' at the stables, well… let's just say I took a little convincin'. Wasn't eager to hire the only horse thief who had snuck by my all-seeing eye," he said, standing tall with mock hubris. "Hell, even now I'm hesitant to show you the horses."

"Oh, c'mon! I promise I won't steal one again!" she tried to make herself look as innocent as possible.

Grant studied her for a moment, then finally relented. "Alright. Let's go see 'em."

He led them to the row of stalls where the horses stood, looking stoic and noble in the light pouring in through the windows. The room had clearly been created from two, possibly three, rooms that had once occupied the space, only load-bearing beams remaining as evidence of the missing walls. There were about twenty stalls spread throughout the space, with an aisle that weaved between them. Roughly half of the stalls were occupied, and Grant informed her that four of their horses were currently "saddled," his term for out on rental.

"May I?" Ellie inquired, gesturing towards the animals.

"Be my guest."

She approached the great beasts slowly and carefully, as not to startle them. Grant's piercing blue eyes looked on as she greeted each one, running her hand over the bridge of their towering noses and cooing softly to them. She moved from one to the other, introducing herself and petting each one.

"So… what ever happened to that one you and Joel ended up takin'?" Grant asked as she mingled with the horses. "He was one of my favorites."

He noticed her gaze turn somber, reminiscing on events passed. "Callus," she said simply.

"Excuse me?"

"I named him Callus. He carried us a long way. He-" she stopped, and shivered. "He was shot by some sick fuckers as we tried to escape them."

Grant frowned and shifted his gaze to the floor. "He was a good horse."

Ellie nodded in silence, and secretly wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. Grant noticed, and turned to walk out of the room. He returned a minute later with the logbook and began writing in it.

"What are you doing?" Ellie asked.

"I'm addin' you to the list. Anytime you want to saddle, you can take a horse, no questions asked." Grant's eyes remained fixed on the logbook as he jotted a few notes on the tattered page.

Ellie was touched by his show of kindness. "Th-thank you," she stammered.

"Mmm… it's nothin'. I can tell an equestrian-at-heart when I see one."

She smiled. "So. That's the whole tour… where do I begin?"

Grant smirked, crossed to a corner of the room, and returned with a shovel. "Well… let's just say hay ain't the only thing that needs shovelin' around here."

Ellie groaned and took the shovel from his hand.

* * *

Joel couldn't believe it. Steam began to accumulate in the room. He blinked several times and shook his head, swearing that it was all some sinister illusion. He tentatively reached a hand out and recoiled at the burn. Hot water. Their work on the pumps had been a success. He tried desperately to remember the last time he had had a shower, let alone one under hot water. It was a memory long forgotten. He started unbuttoning his shirt when he heard commotion downstairs.

He descended the staircase as Ellie flopped down on the couch. She was filthy, even by post-apocalyptic standards, and let out a loud exhausted groan.

"So fucking tired."

"Mmm-hmm. That's what a hard day's work feels like." Joel sniffed the air loudly. "And you stink, too."

She glared at him, but knew he was right. She noticed a look cross Joel's face, a look that meant he had an idea.

"Hey, c'mon. I got a surprise for you."

She peeled herself off of the couch and trudged up the stairs behind him, pausing at the top when she noticed the cloud of steam emerging from the bathroom. "Is… is that what I think it is?"

"How long has it been since you had a hot shower?" he asked.

"Never."

"Serious? Not even at the preparatory school?"

"Nope. Showers there were always ice cold. I hated them. Personally, I'd rather go dirty than freeze my bony little ass off."

Joel laughed. "Well, alright then. Get on in there and clean yourself up. One of the ladies in town even managed to make some soap. The old fashioned way, mind you."

"I used to be addicted to soap-"

"But you're filthy now, so go get clean," he pushed her into the bathroom.

Ellie closed the door, and Joel leaned with his back to the wall and slid down it until he was sitting with his arms propped on his knees. He listened through the door as she chirped with delight upon feeling the water for the first time. He heard her begin splashing about, squealing with glee. Joel closed his eyes as she started whistling, a smile growing on his face.

He didn't mind a bit when she used all of the hot water.

* * *

**AFTERMATH: PART II WILL CONTINUE**

**WITH CHAPTER 7**


	7. Chapter 7 - Undo

**A/N: Um. I don't really have much to say about the chapter itself, except that things is 'bouts to get real interesting. I'll let it speak for itself, I guess. Worst author's note ever.**

**But I'll at least take time to repeat for the umpteenth time how gracious I am of all the kind comments, reviews, and messages I've received in response to these chapters. Y'all are too kind, really.**

**DISCLAIMER/LEGAL MUMBO-JUMBO: I do not own the Last of Us, it is Naughty Dog's property.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 7**

**UNDO**

Morning's light crept it's way into the room until it began tickling at Joel's eyelids. They fluttered for a few seconds and reluctantly opened. Outside the window, the world was green and warm. A fresh breeze washed through the room, the fragrant air greeting his nostrils. He sat up and drew in a deep breath, Ellie still dozing beside him. She was wiped out from her first day of work, and he knew it wouldn't be easy to coax her out of bed. It was a task he was looking forward to, but for now, he'd let her sleep in a while longer.

Joel sat on the edge of the mattress and ran his hands over his face, urging his muscles to wake up. Just then, he remembered that hot water was no longer a concept relegated to the past. He had opted out of taking a cold shower following Ellie's forty-five minute cleansing the night before, and now the prospect of a hot morning shower awoke him more than any cup of coffee could have.

He rose from the mattress as quietly as he could manage, but the movement still caused Ellie to stir. He hesitated until she buried her face in the blankets and went back to sleep. Turning to the door, he headed into the bathroom and turned on the shower. He couldn't suppress the smile that began to grow as the steam began to gather.

Joel disrobed and stepped into the shower. The hot water was invigorating, and he simply stood beneath the stream for minutes on end. This wasn't a quick, cold rinse like the sort he had back in Green River earlier that spring. This was a proper deep cleanse. He worked the soap into his hair with his fingers and felt years of dirt, sweat, and grime loosen and wash down the drain.

"Goddamn," he said with a smile.

When he had finished rinsing the soap off, he stepped out of the shower and dried off with the old towel that hung from the hook. He hadn't felt this refreshed in a long, long time. He nearly didn't recognize himself when he saw his face in the mirror, free of the ever-present coating of dirt. Instead, his skin was bright and fresh, though still weathered with age.

He dressed and returned to pry Ellie out of bed, only to find her standing at the window. She had her elbows on the sill and her face resting on her palms, staring out into the sunshine.

"Mornin'" Joel greeted.

Ellie turned from the window. "Good morning! How's it feel to be all fresh and clean?"

"You have no ide-" he paused, noticing the absence of dirt on her face. "Well, you might have _some_ idea."

"Sure do. Man… going to bed fresh and clean is a great feeling."

"Back before, there was nothin' like takin' a hot shower after a long day of work and then crawlin' into clean sheets." He reminisced on the thought for a second. "Actually, I have an idea. What time you need to be at the stables?"

"Hell if I know, you're one of the only people still wearin' a watch." He gave her a wry look. "Sometime this morning, I suppose."

"Alright. Now that we have hot water, we're gonna do laundry."

"What the hell is that?"

Joel was used to her naïveté by now and replied without a second thought, "It's when you wash your clothes. Now, back in the day we used to have machines that could do it for us. Obviously we're without those luxuries now, so we'll have to do them the old fashioned way: by hand."

Ellie cringed. "That sounds like work."

"Oh, it will be."

"Why would I want to work before going to work?"

Joel shrugged. "That's life, kiddo. Now c'mon. We'll draw some water and put our filthiest stuff in to soak before eatin' breakfast."

He led Ellie down to the garage, where they were able to scrounge up an old Rubbermaid container that would suffice for a laundry basin. Returning to the bathroom, he placed the container in the shower and began filling it with hot water. Ellie looked on intently, knowing sometime in the future it would probably be her turn to do this. Joel then took the bar of homemade soap and rubbed it vigorously in the gathering water, causing bubbles to form on the surface.

"Alright, go get your clothes."

Ellie scampered to the bedroom and pulled out all of her clothes from her backpack. She brought the bundle to Joel and he threw them in the tub. Once the water was at a high enough level, he shut off the shower.

"Okay. I'm gonna grab mine and add them in, you go on downstairs and see what options we have for breakfast."

"Probably stew again."

"I reckon you're right."

Joel brought his pile of dirty flannel shirts and plunged them in the tub before heading downstairs. Ellie was in the kitchen with her head buried in the fridge.

"Joel, check it out!" She turned around with a bowl of brown eggs in her hands, as well as a note. "Looks like Maria left us a present!"

"Well how about that? Been a long time since I've had fried eggs for breakfast."

After a hearty breakfast, Joel brought Ellie back to the container and instructed her to kneel down beside him. He showed her how to scrub the fabric against itself to work out deeply embedded dirt or stains. She absorbed the instructions and committed them to memory. Once they had worked the dirt and sweat stains out of all the clothing, they dumped the water down the drain and turned on the shower to rinse the clothing.

The monkey bars from the jungle gym in the backyard were still more or less intact, and passed well enough for a drying rack. Joel hung each of the shirts in the sun to dry.

"And that's laundry."

"That wasn't too bad, after all."

"Yeah. Actually, I used to find it sort of… therapeutic."

Ellie pondered it for a second. "Yeah, I could see that."

Joel mussed her hair. "C'mon, we gotta get you down to the stables so Grant doesn't give me a piece of his mind about you bein' late."

* * *

"Ellie, hand me that bridle, would ya?" Grant instructed. She complied. "Now, watch closely. This can be a little tricky, especially if the animal doesn't quite trust you yet."

She watched as he slipped the bit into the horse's mouth and began fastening some straps around its head. Grant was a good teacher. Patient, slow to frustration, and eager to answer any questions she had.

"See? Easy as that." He patted the animal on the cheek. "There's a good girl. Alright, Ellie, why don't you try the next one."

He brought over the step stool and positioned her in front of the next horse. It took her a couple tries, but the horse was well-behaved and fairly receptive to Ellie's touch. She had it bridled in a few minutes.

Grant looked on in approval. "Well done. Hell, you'll catch on to this in no time." She smiled proudly. "Now c'mon, let's get these saddled so they can go out."

Ellie followed Grant around the stables as he continued teaching her the inner workings of a busy stable. She learned how to saddle the horses, though the saddles themselves were a little too cumbersome for her diminutive frame. She observed Grant shoeing a horse, though it took more muscle than she had to pound the nails in. He insisted she at least learn the process anyway. He offered her reassurance when she felt self-conscious about the constraints put on her by her size.

The sun hung high overhead when they broke for lunch. Grant had traded for some fine cuts of elk from the town butcher and got another man from the town to slow-smoke it. Ellie's eyes fluttered at the burst of flavor with each bite.

"Oh man… this is so fucking good…"

Grant glared at her, and his gaze made her quite uncomfortable. In her brief time with him, she had gathered that wasn't too fond of profanity beyond 'hell' and 'damn,' but old habits die hard.

"Sorry… damn good… so damn good… mmmm-mmmmmmm..."

He scowled, but let it go and took another bite of the meat. Ellie committed to watch her tongue around him. Most of the time she didn't care, but for some reason she felt reluctant to upset Grant.

She decided to change the subject. "So… what did you do for work? Before the outbreak, I mean."

Grant's eyes stayed on his plate while he finished chewing the bite in his mouth. He cleared his throat after swallowing. "I was, uh… a preacher."

"Really?"

"Mmmm-hmmm."

Ellie didn't have too much experience with religion. To her, it didn't seem to have much of a place in this world anymore. The last seemingly-religious person she came across turned out to be a sadistic bastard who ate people, so naturally, she more than a bit skeptical of religious types.

She really didn't know what to say. "So, uh… what do you make of all of this?"

He looked at her quizzically. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, mankind turning into crazy fungus monsters and civilization collapsing and all that. I haven't been exposed to much scripture, but out of habit, I did skip to the end… the whole apocalypse thing."

Grant shrugged. "Well… a lot of people certainly lost their faith after the world went mad. Lots of people made these claims that they knew when Christ was coming back. Said he was… cleansing the world using the Infected or what have you. When he didn't come back, a lot of people couldn't face the alternative."

Ellie studied his face, but he kept his emotions well hidden. "What about you?"

He looked up and met her gaze before his eyes returned to his plate. "Well, I suppose I never lost my faith. I can't pretend to have a direct line to God's intentions or… know what He has planned for the world, or anything. It's not for me to know. But I believe He's real. I believe there's some sort of reason this all happened. I believe there's some sort of reason that I'm still alive while I've seen so many people die."

Ellie pondered this. _Everything happens for a reason_. The words sent shivers down her spine. But, maybe Grant was right. Maybe _David_ had been right. Maybe there was some reason for all of this, but in light of the Salt Lake City fallout, she couldn't comprehend what it could be. "Mystery to me," she said simply.

Grant nodded. "Still workin' on it myself."

They finished their lunch and Grant instructed that Ellie gather some hay from the other room to refill the feed troughs. She turned and headed to the storage room where the hay was piled. Her mind was racing with thoughts of meaning and purpose, and as she reached to pull the pitchfork from the wall, her absent-mindedness caused it to slip from her grasp and the sharp edge of a tine caught her right elbow.

She yelped in pain and looked down to see a tear in her sleeve and a gash that was already seeping with blood. "Ow! Shit!"

She heard Grant grunt in disapproval from the room and then call, "What'd you do this time?"

She examined the wound. It was bleeding a fair amount, too much to just shrug off. "I, uh… ouch… cut myself on the damn pitchfork."

Grant's footsteps on the floorboards hearkened his entrance to the room. "Let me see." He took her elbow in his hands and inspected the wound. He pulled her in front of the window to get a better look in the light. "I'll grab a bandage from the room. Take a seat on the stool here," he said as he slid one over to her. Ellie complied.

He returned a moment later with a bottle of alcohol and a bandage. He set the supplies down and knelt in front of Ellie. "Alright, give me your arm."

Before Ellie had time to react, Grant was rolling up her right sleeve. She noticed too late to pull away. The black fabric receded as he rolled it up, finally revealing the scarred tissue and small white bumps around the bite wound. Her eyes grew wide with dread as she saw Grant's gaze fall on the bite mark. When it registered, he stumbled backward in shock.

"Grant-"

"Sweet Jesus…."

"Grant, it's okay… I'm not-"

"D-D-Don't move!" he pulled his pistol from its holster, hands visibly shaking, and raised it in her direction. "Don't you dare m-m-move!"

He kept the gun trained on her as he slowly backed out of the room and shut the door. Ellie heard the deadbolt clank into place.

"Well… fuck."

* * *

**AFTERMATH: PART II WILL CONTINUE**

**WITH CHAPTER 8**


	8. Chapter 8 - Lessons

**A/N: My insincerest apologies for leaving you all on a cliffhanger last chapter. I thought a bit of drama was called for, since things have been relatively low-key as of late. A lot of you were anxious to see how Ellie was going to get out of this one. Well, time to find out. Sadly, I think it's more innocuous than most people are expecting, but oh well. Here's the chapter!**

**DISCLAIMER/LEGAL MUMBO-JUMBO: I do not own The Last of Us, it is Naughty Dog's property.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 8**

**LESSONS**

Ellie peered through the crack in the door, but there wasn't much to see. Just a sliver of the next room. She grabbed the handle and shook vigorously, throwing her weight into the door, but it wouldn't budge. It just so happened that the window was stuck shut, so that wasn't an option either. She was trapped.

She put an ear to the smooth wood of the door, but couldn't hear much through it. All sound was muffled, and if Grant was talking to someone, what he was saying was indecipherable.

"Grant! I'm not infected! You gotta believe me!" she waited for a response, but nothing came. "Grant! Please!" She heard footsteps approach the door. "Grant?"

"What you mean you're not infected? What's with that bite, then? Huh?"

"I can explain everything, just let me out, pl-"

"No! You're stayin' in there 'til I figure out what to do with you. We don't suffer Infected within the walls."

For the first time since coming to Jackson, Ellie was truly afraid. She didn't think Grant was capable of hurting a fly, but this world had made worse things out of better people. His heavy footsteps grew distant as he returned to the front room. Ellie walked over and slid down the wall. All she could do was wait.

Twenty minutes later she heard some commotion coming from the direction of the front room. She crossed over to the door and listened once more. Voices. Two, maybe three people now. Their conversation was muffled, but the timbre of one of the voices was instantly recognizable to her as Joel. Her heart rate slowed just a bit at the knowledge of his presence.

The volume of the voices raised, and it was evident tempers were starting to flare. Ellie hoped to herself that Joel wouldn't snap and kill Grant, but quickly realized how foolish that thought was. Joel had a temper, but killing people in a fit of rage? That seemed a bit extreme. The sound of footsteps approached outside.

She pounded on the door. "Joel! Get me out of here!"

The deadbolt rattled and then clanked open. Joel stood in the doorway, then stepped aside to let her exit. In the adjoining room stood Tommy and Grant. The look on Grant's face was equal parts suspicion and fear.

"I sure hope you know what you're doin'," he said to Joel.

"I do. I told you, she's immune. Ain't no threat to you or anyone. But for the sake of everyone's peace of mind, let's keep her condition on the down-low. We clear?"

Grant regarded her warily and didn't say a word.

"Are we clear?" Joel repeated sternly.

"Crystal," Grant replied.

"Good. Now, we ain't gonna have a problem with her workin' here, are we Grant?"

His gaze hadn't left Ellie. "No."

Joel studied him for a moment and turned to Ellie. "Alright. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Okay. Grant, I'm gonna take Ellie home for the day and give everyone a chance to level their heads. She'll be back in the mornin'."

He nodded. "Probably for the best."

Ellie turned and noticed Tommy, who was looking on but hadn't spoken a word. He was avoiding eye contact, which seemed a bit strange to her, but she brushed it off.

They went to the front of the stables, where Joel told Ellie to wait while he had a word with Tommy. She sat down on the bench in what could be considered the lobby. Joel took Tommy outside and around back, where he was sure they were out of earshot.

"Tommy, not a word to Grant. About… you know…"

"No reason to tell the truth. What good could come of it?"

Joel didn't appreciate Tommy's tone. "None. No good could come of it. Now, I told him the same story I told Ellie, and as far as we're concerned, that _is_ the truth. Got it?"

Tommy looked away. "Sure."

Joel's gaze narrowed. "I'm serious, Tommy."

"Joel, I fuckin' know, okay? I'm uncomfortable enough with the fact that you feel like you can't tell her the truth. Replacin' it with a lie don't make it any easier."

Joel sighed. "I know. I ain't… proud of myself, okay? But this is the bed I made, and I'm gonna lie in it. Come hell or high water."

"I hope you're prepared to deal with the weight of that," Tommy replied.

"I am."

Tommy stared at Joel for a moment. "Okay. But Joel… you have to tell her eventually. Ellie deserves the truth."

Joel's gaze moved to the distant rim of the valley. "I know."

"C'mon, Ellie's waitin'. Don't want to leave her alone with Grant for too long after all that."

* * *

Joel opened the door to the house and let Ellie brush past him. She trudged upstairs and went into her room. Joel slumped onto the easy chair and sighed, running a hand over his furrowed brow. He felt like a parent who had just picked their child up from school after getting a call from the principal's office. Sarah had been rather well-behaved, so he never had that experience with her, but it probably would have felt something like this. He felt like he should go talk to her. Not knowing what to say hadn't stopped him in the past, and he made his way upstairs.

He rapped his knuckles on her door and pushed it open. "Ellie?"

She was sitting on the windowsill with her right sleeve rolled up, running her fingers over the scar tissue and white bumps like he had seen her do several times before. She didn't look up when he entered.

"How're you doin'?" he asked.

"Fucking fantastic," she muttered.

Joel sighed. "Look, things will be fine with Grant. I explained everything to him." She continued tracing circling paths over the bite mark with her fingertips, offering no response. "Ellie, what is it?"

"Why did there have to be dozens more like me? Why did the Fireflies have to stop looking for a cure? Why did our whole… fucking cross-country trek have to be for nothing? It's fucking bullshit-"

"Ellie…"

"This was supposed to be my purpose. Why I'm here. Why I'm still alive. But it turns out it's just some fucking curse I'm forced to live with. It's not fucking fair!"

"You're right."

She looked up at him. "What?"

"You're right. It ain't fair. And I'm sorry, but that's life, Ellie. It don't give a rat's ass about what's fair and what ain't."

Her eyes returned to her arm. "It's still bullshit."

"You know what? It is. I know how you're feelin', Ellie. I've been through what you're going through right now. I know it's frustratin' as hell."

"After Sarah?"

"Mmm-hmm. I cursed the world. I cursed the Infected. I cursed God for lettin' it happen. But it didn't get me anywhere. Cursin' at the wind leaves you empty and with nothin' to show for it."

"So… how did you get past it?"

Joel pondered the question. "Time, I guess. Eventually, you just come to accept it and move on. Things like this… things you can't change, things you have no control over, ain't worth frettin' about. It's just wasted time and energy pourin' into somethin' that's beyond your control."

"I guess."

"And this _is_ beyond your control. Look, you got bit and nothin' happened. You're still alive. As far as curses go, that ain't so bad is it?"

A weak smile appeared on Ellie's face. "I guess not."

Joel put a hand on her shoulder. "We'll get through this, just like everything else the world has thrown at us. We'll get through it. To avoid these situations from happenin' again, we'll just have to be extra careful. Just be conscious of makin' sure your sleeves stay rolled down, okay?"

"It all happened so fast, and the adrenaline from the cut… it slowed my reflexes, I guess."

"I know. Look, it'll be alright. Grant will come around, and it'll be like nothin' happened."

"I hope so."

"Now… while we got some daylight left, I have a surprise for you."

She looked at him suspiciously. "What kind of surprise?"

"Wait here." He turned and left the room, returning a few moments later. He tossed something at her. A piece of fabric. She caught it and held it up, trying to make sense of what it was. It was a garment of some kind.

"What is it?"

"It's a swimsuit."

Ellie's eyes lit up with excitement.

* * *

"Ellie, it ain't that cold, I promise."

She looked on from the shoreline, quite wary of the dark, tranquil pool of water before her. Joel's body broke the vast plane of glass, ring-shaped ripples emanating from his body, growing ever larger. She was hesitant to remove the long-sleeved shirt covering the swimsuit.

"There's no one around, don't worry about the mark."

She dipped a toe in the water and recoiled immediately. "Ohhhh! I thought you said it wasn't that cold!"

Joel smiled sheepishly. "Well, it's still spring. Water hasn't had much time to warm up yet. C'mon, you get used to it. See? I ain't freezin' to death."

"Well, yeah, but you've got a bit more… insulation than I do."

"Ellie."

"Fine!" She finally removed the long-sleeve shirt and tossed it on top of her jeans. Slowly, she began to enter the water. She wasn't even ankle deep when her teeth started chattering loudly. She hugged her elbows and shivered. "Ahh… this is h-h-horrible."

"C'mon, you big baby," Joel teased. Ellie glared at him. "Just jump all the way in. It'll be a shock at first but you'll get used to the water faster."

Ellie, not knowing any better, did as instructed. When her head resurfaced, she let out a loud shriek. "Ohhhhh what the fuck! Why would you make me do that? Worst idea ever!"

"Now, we'll practice in the shallow water until you're comfortable. Then we can venture out a bit further. Maybe swim to the other side."

"C-c-c-cool," she chattered.

Joel started her off with a basic back-float, supporting her body while offering instruction on how to stay afloat and move about using her limbs. She was rigid with tension and it took Joel awhile to get her to relax.

Eventually she mastered the back-float and Joel decided to move on to a basic dog paddle. Ellie was reluctant to submerge her face, and her early attempts at the dog paddle essentially consisted of her thrashing about to keep her face above the water.

"Ellie, you have to get comfortable with puttin' your face underwater. It's a big part of swimmin'. Gettin' comfortable with it is one of the most important things you'll need to learn."

"I know! It's just… I k-k-kind of… panic."

"Here, let's try something. I'm gonna hold you while you put your face underwater. That way, there's nothin' to be afraid of."

"O-k-k-kay," she said tentatively.

Joel held onto her and instructed her to dunk her face in the water. Almost immediately, she began coughing, and Joel lifted her out of the water with ease.

"What happened?"

"Water… got up… my nose," she sputtered between coughs.

"Well, you didn't try to breathe in, did you?"

She paused. "No..."

Joel chuckled. "Alright, here's what we're gonna do this time. When you go underwater, blow air out through your nose."

"Okay."

"I've got you, girl. You ready?"

"Yeah."

Joel let her submerge her face and watched as the bubbles began to surface around her head. She resurfaced after a few seconds and giggled with delight.

"Hey! No water up my nose!"

"Good job, kiddo. Now, eventually you'll have to learn how to go underwater without blowin' air through your nose the whole time. Your lungs can only hold so much, and if you're divin', you'll need all of the air they can hold."

"Got it."

"Now, since you know how to keep water from goin' up your nose, how about you try that dog paddle again?"

"Okay."

Joel watched her kick her legs and paddle with her arms, keeping her head above the water without frantically thrashing. A smile spread across her face when she realized it.

"I'm doing it!"

"Good job, kiddo!"

She paddled a lazy circle around Joel, always within his arm's reach, but swimming on her own. He let her swim about for a few more minutes until she was comfortable with it.

"Alright, I'd say you've got that down." He looked up at the lowering sun. "I think that's enough for the day. We'll keep takin' trips up here until you're swimmin' like a trout."

"Awww… can't we swim a bit longer?"

Joel laughed. "I practically had to drag your ass in here, and now you're gonna make me drag it back out?" Ellie splashed him playfully. "Ohhh… are you sure you wanna go down this road with me?" He sent a wave her direction with a sweep of his arm.

After a few more minutes of splashing, he finally coaxed her out of the water. He tossed her a towel they had found in the house and they began drying off. Ellie's eyes drifted to the scar on Joel's abdomen, and a shiver went down her spine, accentuating the cold she felt from the damp swimsuit under her clothes.

"Hey Joel?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks. For this. Teaching me how to swim."

Joel smiled. "You're welcome. I've been lookin' forward to this since… since that tunnel…" he trailed off. Suddenly, his attention was miles away. For a brief second, a look of guilt crossed his face, but it was gone as quickly as it had come. "Let's, uh… let's get home, okay kiddo?"

"Okay."

* * *

**AFTERMATH: PART II WILL CONTINUE**

**WITH CHAPTER 9**


	9. Chapter 9 - Stories

**A/N: Confession time. I've been distracted. I haven't been very good at being timely with chapter updates, but I promise I have a good reason for it. A few weeks ago, I began writing my first novel. Writing on this site and seeing such positive reactions to my work has inspired me to give a shot at writing original content. I had never considered writing a novel, but a few weeks ago, an idea popped into my mind for an excellent setting and backstory for a novel, and that has been commanding a lot of my writing attention lately.**

**I want people to know that I haven't forgotten this fic. I know a lot of people have been anxiously checking for chapters, which I'm touched by, and I haven't been great at sitting down and writing them. Though I don't, I feel like I owe it to all of you, and to TLoU somehow, to see this story through, and I plan to. So as a note, if I end my chapter with "AFTERMATH: PART II WILL CONTINUE," that is a promise. This story will have an ending. I can't hope it'll be anywhere as profound as the ending to the actual game, but I will do my best. So please, bear with me. I'm splitting my attention in writing projects, and I will be trying my damndest to keep this story true to the characters and the world.**

**Alright. Here's chapter nine. I've set up chapter ten as a big one, so that should force me to write it sooner rather than later.**

**DISCLAIMER/LEGAL MUMBO-JUMBO: I do not own The Last of Us, it is Naughty Dog's property.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 9**

**STORIES**

Days became weeks. Weeks became months. Summer was in full swing. The valley provided some reprieve from the baking sun, which meant high eighties instead of nineties. Trips to the swimming pond became a regular occurrence, and by now Ellie was the proficient swimmer. She'd spend hours in the pond, diving down to feel for rocks or twigs in the mucky bottom. She had insisted she keep honing her skills until she felt as natural in the water as she did on land.

She'd float on her back and stare at the sky, deciphering shapes from the drifting clouds above. Joel was never far off, always within reach, just in case. It was more for his sake than hers. Ellie had come to a resigned opinion of him. She settled on being honest with herself, and concluded that Joel had lied to her that day months ago on the ridge. She couldn't put into words what she felt towards him, but it strode the line between love and hate. Perhaps it was both. She hated him for lying, but loved him enough to understand that there must be a reason why he did it. At this point, the truth was just a burden, and for now she was willing not to bear it.

The town had been fairly quiet since their arrival. There hadn't been any bandit raids, and only a stray Infected or two stumbled their way near the perimeter. They were put down without much hassle. Life was easy, and its ease made it difficult, a daily challenge that weighed down on Joel and Ellie alike. Joel tried to fathom how he could return to a life not dissimilar from the one he'd known two years ago. Ellie tried to fathom how she could have a life free of threat or strict regiment put in place by the preparatory schools in which she had always dwelt.

Ever since he had seen her scar, Grant had been reticent toward her. He wasn't talkative like he used to be, and oftentimes she'd catch him casting sideways glances at her, only to look away sharply upon meeting her eyes. She had hoped Grant would be someone she could confide in, perhaps even trust. She almost laughed at the thought now. He had distanced himself, quite conspicuously, and when she tried to pry her way in, she was met with a wall of intransigence. Eventually she relented.

She implored Joel to help her get a shift at a guard post, explaining her predicament at the stables, and with help from Tommy, she was given a couple shifts. Since she was the youngest and newest member of the watchmen, she was relegated to the shifts least desired by the other guards. These were often overnight or break-of-dawn shifts. Occasionally, one of the guards would take pity on her and trade shifts. Most often, it was Joel who did the trading. He'd give up his midday watch to her and take the overnight shift, with the intention of letting her get some sleep. She needed it more than he did after all. But, to his chagrin at first, she rarely slept those nights. Instead, he'd hear her scale the ladder and plop down next to him, with the broken-record excuse of "Couldn't sleep."

It was one of those nights where she joined him in the guard tower. The moon had begun its slide toward the western horizon, while morning's light still lay hidden below the east. The stars were innumerable and vibrant against the ink black canvas of the sky. Ellie stared at the heavens, eyes tracing the distant constellations Joel had taught her about.

"What's that one?" she asked, pointing at a box of stars with an appendage protruding from one corner.

"Oh, you're gonna love that one. That's Pegasus," he replied.

"Who's Pegasus?"

"A horse with wings."

"You're fucking with me," she said in disbelief.

"Serious. He's from Greek mythology, a winged horse that could fly."

"Aw, cool! Man… wish I could ride a horse with wings. That'd be awesome. So, how'd he end up in the stars?"

Joel shrugged. "Beats me. Mythology has its ways of explainin' these things, but they aren't exactly based in reality. Makes for a good story, though."

They sat quietly for a few more minutes, silently gazing at the stars. Joel felt Ellie's head come to rest against his shoulder.

"Don't go noddin' off now."

"I won't, I'm still awake," she replied. "Tell me a story."

"What kind of story?"

"I dunno… dealer's choice. Uh… how'd you meet Tess?" She felt him cringe slightly at that name. "Or… uh…"

"Nah, it's fine. It wasn't long after I arrived in Boston. I had spent years workin' my way from place to place searchin' for a Quarantine Zone that was still inhabited."

"With your fellow hunters, I take it?"

He dismissed the question. "Boston was our last gasp. We had gone through so many cities. Knoxville, Charlotte, Richmond, D.C…. ghost towns, all of 'em. Even New York City had long since fallen, and it was a hotbed for Infected by then. We barely made it out of there alive. Man, that was once a city like you wouldn't believe… anyways, I'm gettin' away from myself here. We didn't know what we were gonna do if Boston was abandoned. Keep movin' I guess, but it was more or less our last hope. We'd had moved our way up the eastern seaboard, trudgin' through hell itself at times, only to find QZ after QZ overrun or completely abandoned. When we saw the lights of Boston, our hearts rose in our chests. Once we were allowed into the QZ, we all basically went our separate ways."

He paused to take a drink from his canteen. Ellie sat quietly, listening intently. "It didn't take me long to realize how valuable smugglin' was as a profession. There were always clients, both from the military and private citizens alike. I knew it was something that gave me the best chance of stayin' alive. It provided a steady flow of ration cards, and could get me friends in high places. Once my mind was made up, I looked for a partner. There were only a couple top dogs that more or less ran the smugglin' business. Tess was one. Low-life sack of shit named Robert was another. There were others, but it was clear that if I wanted to succeed, I'd pair up with one of these two. Choice was easy. Robert was a spineless coward, king of an empire he controlled through backdoor deals and an air of false bravado. Tess… well, for one, she was a hell of a lot better lookin' than Robert…"

Ellie seized the moment to interject. "Okay, this has been bugging me since I met you guys. Were you two… you know…"

Joel smirked at her. "Wouldn't you like to know."

She smirked right back. "I knew it."

"Anyway, I approached Tess. Told her we'd make a good team. I guess I was either convincin' enough or good lookin' enough for her to go for it. And that's that."

Ellie looked at him coyly for awhile, but her gaze transitioned to solemnity before long. "Look, I know I've said this a million times, but… I'm really sorry about Tess."

"That's okay, Ellie."

"It's just… well, if she was someone who… made you happy, or… agh, I dunno what I'm trying to say. Just… you deserve someone who does that. Makes you happy. And I'm sorry. I can't help but feel-"

"Stop blamin' yourself." The firmness of his words caught her off-guard. "Look… I don't blame you for what happened to Tess. I might have, at first… and I sorta took it out on you. For that, _I_ should be the one apologizin', so _I'm_ sorry. Now let it go."

"Okay. For what it's worth, I forgive you. For taking it out on me, I mean. I understand, and things worked out alright between us after all."

They shared another moment of silence, but it wasn't a strained silence. It was a silence of comfort and familiarity. A silence born of soundless understanding and the superfluity of words.

Joel finally broke it. "Do you think you'll ever be able to tell me what happened? Last winter, I mean?"

"What do you mean, what happened? You know what happened," she said evenly.

"Not all of it. I don't know what brought you to… to where I found you in that restaurant. What happened before that, with those people in the town, while I was out." Her head was turned away from him, and remained there. "Can you tell me what happened?"

He felt her exhale deeply against him, and sensed hints of a quavering shudder from her diaphragm, the sort that preceded muffled crying. "I had never been so scared in my life."

The sentence hung on the air for awhile, as if she was watching it float away with the night breeze. Joel didn't dare prompt her to continue before she was ready to.

"I had no idea what to do. After you got hurt, I was lost. I was fucking… terrified. I had never stitched someone up before. My hands were shaking the whole time. I had to choke down some liquor I found to calm them. Once it was done, I stayed by your side for two days, swearing each breath would be your last. Hunger finally pulled me away, and I had to look for food. I'd get a bit here and there. A rabbit or squirrel. One day I was out and had just shot a rabbit… the one we ended up eating after… well, I was tying the rabbit up to Callus when this deer showed up seemingly out of nowhere. So I went after it, tracked it for awhile. A few shots later and it finally went down in the middle of an abandoned logging camp. Place was eerie as hell…"

She shuddered. Joel wrapped an arm around her for warmth and reassurance, and continued listening quietly.

"These two guys step out from behind a tree, offering to trade for some deer meat. Of course, I didn't trust them. Never trust anyone, right? So I kept an arrow trained on the guy in charge. David." She seethed, spitting the name from her lips as if it were poison.

"He offered supplies, food, clothing. I blurted out, probably a little too eagerly, that I needed medicine. Didn't specify why. Told them they could take the whole deer for it. The one guy ran back to their camp to fetch it, while the guy in charge stayed with me. We took shelter in a building, and soon after were fighting off a mob of Infected.

"We killed them all somehow, and afterward, David revealed to me that he knew who we were. Makes my skin crawl to think back to that conversation. Turns out, it was his guys we were jumped by at the university. Small world, I suppose. Anyway, I got out of there and came back to give you the medicine. The next morning, I woke up to the sound of voices outside. They had tracked me back to the house. I knew if you were to have a chance of surviving, I'd have to draw them away, so I did."

She reached over to take a drink from Joel's canteen. He saw her hand shaking. She composed herself again before continuing. "I got their attention by killing one of them, and then Callus and I rode out of there. There were so many of them. Finally, one of them put a bullet in Callus and we fell down a small cliff. I ran and hid. I was almost to the road back to the house when that fucker David knocked me out and threw me in cage."

A lump had begun to form in Joel's throat upon hearing all of this, fearing the worst, but he kept silent.

"When I woke up… the guy who was with David earlier was butchering a human body. I can still hear the sickening, wet thuds of limbs hitting the floor. David returned and… tried to convince me to join his little town of people eaters. He said that… that I was… special. He put his hand on mine, suggestively. I broke his goddamn finger for it. I think he had resolved right then to eat me rather than have me be his little… pet. The next day I was woken up by them throwing me on the butcher table, ready to cut me up into tiny pieces. I was able to bite David in the process. Fucker. Tried to buy time by telling him I'm infected, and by biting him, he was too. It worked. I killed his buddy and got out of there. The rest of it was all a blur. I… I killed so many..."

Joel pulled her in closer, trying to give her a foundation to stand upon.

"Finally, I climbed into that restaurant, but David met me at the door on the way out. There was a struggle after the worst game of hide-and-seek in history. He was pinning me, choking me. I was starting to pass out when I found his machete and… well… you know the rest…"

"Ellie…"

She continued, brushing him off. "It was the worst thing I've ever been through… but looking back now, I think I learned a lot about myself… what I'm… what I'm capable of."

Joel looked at her for a long time. Her stony gaze stayed fixed straight ahead. Finally, he spoke. "Ellie, I'm sorry. You don't know what I'd give to take that away, for that to never have happened. I think you're more capable than you know, even now. You're the reason I'm still here."

She offered no reply. Numerous times, it appeared she was about to speak, but no words emerged when her lips parted. She was tired, and in her fatigue, her mind held onto a word that she had been dismissing for quite some time. It was the burden she had chosen not to carry. Truth.

"Joel… why did you lie to me?"

* * *

**AFTERMATH: PART II WILL CONTINUE**

**WITH CHAPTER 10**


	10. Chapter 10 - Spark

**A/N: Here it is, the big moment. Or, at least, part of the big moment. Chapter ten. I thought I should make sure to finish this tonight with all of TLoU buzz about the just-revealed single player DLC "Left Behind." Man, oh man, is it gonna be good. I'm a bit bummed we aren't getting more Joel and Ellie, but at least we get one of them. And playing as Ellie is a ton of fun!**

**So here's the chapter. Things are going to get _real_ intense, probably from here on out. This will likely be 15 chapters long like Part I as I need to focus on writing my novel. Thanks for taking the time out of your busy day to read this! Please enjoy!**

**DISCLAIMER/LEGAL MUMBO-JUMBO: I do not own The Last of Us, it is Naughty Dog's property.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 10**

**SPARK**

He stared straight ahead, into the darkness beyond the floodlights, until he could no longer bear the feeling of her eyes on his skin. His mind raced. Should he play dumb, act like he had no idea what she was talking about? No, she was too smart for that. He knew it, in the back of his mind. She knew. He didn't know exactly what, or how much, but she knew.

He exhaled. "You… might understand... someday." He felt her eyes leave him.

"I knew it. I fucking knew it," she muttered, barely audible to anyone else, but she knew he could hear. Her eyes returned to his face. "I might understand _now_. Answer the question," said Ellie, firmly, fighting to keep her short temper at bay.

"You… you _can't_ understand now," he said softly.

"What happened back there, in Salt Lake City? If you can't explain the 'why,' at least explain the 'what.'"

Joel felt, uncharacteristically, like running away. The guard tower was small, and the railings might as well have been prison bars. He unconsciously stood and began walking around the walkway that lined the circumference of the tower. Ellie followed a step behind him, not letting him avoid the situation.

"Joel! Answer me!" she said, raising her voice and tugging at his arm. "What happened?"

"Let's talk about this tomor-"

She pulled harder, forcing him to face her. "No! Tell me now! After all we've been through, you owe me this much." Her eyes pled even more than her words. He turned away, unable to look at her.

"You… you're the only one…" his voice was barely a whisper.

"What?"

"Immune. You're the only one."

She shrugged. "That doesn't surprise me, but... that's not all there is. What else?" Joel's eyes avoided hers like the plague, no matter how hard she sought after them. She repeated herself, firmly, emphasizing both syllables, "What else?"

"They're… they haven't quit… lookin' for a cure."

Ellie sighed in exasperation. "No shit. Those two lies were the easiest to see through."

"Well, I guess… in a way, they have stopped lookin'... now…" he said, more to himself than to her.

"What the hell does that mean? Come out with it, Joel." Her words grew sharper, more pointed. She assumed the role of a surgeon, attempting to extract the truth from the shell of lies Joel had created, and her pressured words were her scalpel. "Tell me. Tell me, Joel. Fucking spit it out! Tell me!" He tried to turn away again. "Don't you turn your fucking back on your own goddamn d-" she stopped herself. The words had been flowing from a pit of anger she had left concealed within her. A pit fed by suspicion and doubt. She hadn't realized just how influential it had become. The pit of anger wore at her inhibitions, and something had nearly slipped out that she had kept in an even more precious place than the pit of anger. She regained control and resumed her assault. "Tell me the truth! Joel!"

_You can't save her_. Marlene's voice taunted him vindictively, unnervingly, viciously. He swore she was whispering it right into his ear, standing next to him. He could see the black, ragged hole in her forehead. _You can't save her_.

"Joel!"

"I killed them!" he snapped, whirling around to face Ellie. "I fuckin' killed them, okay? All of them, all of those goddamn Fireflies!" Something had ruptured within him, and the words came spilling out like hot oil, searing at his skin. "All of those motherfuckin' sons of bitches. I _killed_ them!"

Ellie stumbled back and fell against the railing, wide-eyed. It was the first time, to her memory, she had been in Joel's presence and been truly, deeply, genuinely afraid. There was a fire behind Joel's eyes, flickering with an unbridled malice. He saw the terror on her face and his demeanor shifted, in an instant, to one of gentleness and paternal concern. The contrast was as terrifying as the rage that came before it.

His voice was soft, soothing, "Ellie, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please… p-p-please forgive… forgive me, baby. _Please_." He reached out to take her shoulder, but she recoiled against the railing, beyond his grasp.

The trembling, quiet, hauntingly sincere words she spoke felt like a dagger had been plunged between his ribs. "Get the fuck away from me."

A sound met her ears; one she didn't recognize. It sounded vaguely like a groan, but too deep and strangely metallic to be human. She could almost feel the creaking reverberation. No, she could definitely feel it, emanating from the middle of her back. Before she realized the source of the sound, something gave way, and she saw Joel falling away from her, falling back, back and down, down toward her feet. The guard tower fell with him. In her peripheral vision, she saw the railing fall past at each side, the section she was leaning against mysteriously missing. And then, she realized, the sky itself was falling behind the tower.

She saw Joel clambering toward her, trying to escape the falling tower, reaching out at her with palpable desperation in his eyes. She felt a snag at her ankle as his fingers wrapped around it, and the universe halted its freefall away from her and began swaying slowly back and forth. She looked down at him quizzically. No, not down. Up. Suddenly, quickly, violently, everything shifted and she felt herself dangling by her ankle, looking around frantically as gravity reoriented her perception.

"Joel!" she screamed in terror.

"I gotchya!" he grunted. "I gotchya, kiddo." He was on his stomach on the walkway, arms hanging over the edge, clutching her around the ankle. She looked up - no, down - at the ground below her and half-expected to see a piece of rebar, protruding like a deadly stalagmite from the earth, taunting her, but there was nothing there but grass and dirt. The grip around her ankle intensified, and the ground began to retreat from her. She felt Joel's fingers hook into the waist of her jeans and pull her safely back onto the walkway.

She instinctively dove into his arms, suppressing the feelings that had pushed her over the edge in the first place. He wrapped his arms around her and gently rocked her back and forth. She was sobbing, unsure of whether it was in anger, fear, or purely from the exhilaration of a brush with potential death. In that moment, she was content to permit Joel to comfort her, to soothe her. She was glad to feel his hand cradling her head. She welcomed his words of apology and reassurance that everything was alright.

But she knew it was just another lie.

* * *

Once again, the wailing sirens pierced his eardrums as he ran through the hospital. Ellie hung limply in his arms, still unconscious. At least, she was, at first. He frantically glanced this way and that, searching out the right path to escape. Fireflies poured out of the darkness in every direction he turned, their eyes burning bright in the dim, cold, sterile hallways of St. Mary's, casting cones of light on him like spotlights. He turned down another hall. Suddenly, Ellie was awake. She was fighting him, desperately. Fighting to break free. Thrashing violently.

"No! No! Get the fuck away from me! No!" she screamed.

The lights began to surround him as the Fireflies swarmed. He struggled to keep his hold on the flailing girl in his arms. He couldn't lose her, no matter what. He ran through another doorway, which opened to a hall indistinguishable from the one from which he'd come.

Suddenly, he felt a burning, searing heat in his shoulder. He looked down, startled to find Ellie's switchblade buried in his flesh. He looked at her in shock as she retracted the blade and stabbed him again. Through the pain, he dropped her and tumbled backwards onto the ground. She scrambled away from him, rose to her feet, and ran towards a dark figure at the end of the hall. The figure welcomed her, holding her by its side. Ellie clutched onto the figure, peering out from behind it and back at Joel.

"Help me! Get him away from me!"

The figure approached, and the flickering light fixture overhead illuminated its face. It was Marlene, the bullet hole still visible in her forehead. She raised her pistol, aiming it at the space between Joel's eyes.

Her voice shook the foundations of the building, the foundations of Joel's body, mind, and soul, as she spoke. Her lips didn't move, but the words thundered within his head, threatening the rattle his brain loose from its moorings.

"You. Can't. Save. Her."

She pulled the trigger.

* * *

He had only managed an hour of sleep, and not a second more of it came after the nightmare jolted him awake.

He lie on the mattress, watching the color of the sky lighten as the sun rose. He had watched the hours since the nightmare pass against the dark canvas outside his window, its indigo hue growing ever lighter with each minute. His altercation with Ellie had occurred near the end of the shift, and his relief had run to the tower upon hearing Ellie's scream. Joel told him that they were alright, just shook up after a close call, and that he'd take Ellie home to rest.

He had walked her up the stairs and turned toward his room, when he felt her peel away and walk to her own bedroom. It was then that he knew something had changed, and there was no going back. The bedroom felt cavernous and cold in her absence. He half-rolled over on the mattress, looking despondently at the place on the mattress where she should have been.

Unable to stay where he was any longer, he stood and walked over to the window, resting his arms on the sill. He tried to fathom what had come over him earlier, that unchecked furor that had manifested itself without warning. He had never snapped at Ellie to that magnitude, not even when he first met her and didn't give a rat's ass about her. He felt a surge of guilt at the thought of Ellie's face, the fear in her eyes. Frightening her was the last thing he ever wanted to do.

He reckoned he should go check on her, and padded out of the room, down the hall, and hesitated at her closed doorway. He stood there for a moment before turning the handle and opening the door. The soft morning light fell in through the window, illuminating a faint square on the worn hardwood floors. The room still sat mostly empty, as it had been rarely used since they moved in. All the occupied the space was the mattress. The mattress was empty.

A spark of adrenaline lit inside of Joel as he burst into the room. "Ellie?" He checked the closet. Nothing. "Ellie!?" Her window was shut, and there was no proverbial makeshift rope made of bed sheets hanging from it. Her bedroom window looked over the backyard. In the dim light, he could see that the backyard was empty. Frantic at this point, he hurried back to his room, snatched his pack from the floor, and threw it over his shoulders. He turned to run down the stairs, then hesitated. Turning back, he opened the door to the unused bedroom. As he feared, Ellie's switchblade was no longer sitting on the windowsill. Her pack hadn't been in her room, either.

"No, no, no… no… no, please… no…" he cried as he stumbled down the steps.

He ran through the front door, slamming it on his way out, and tore down the street toward Tommy and Maria's. Upon his arrival, he pounded wildly at the front door.

"Tommy! Maria!"

His brother's tired face appeared beyond the open door. "Joel? What's wrong? What time is it?"

"Early. It's Ellie… she's… she's gone. Run off."

Tommy suddenly became more awake. "What, when? Why?"

Joel half-sighed and half-groaned, utterly distraught. "We… we had a fight last night, she… I told her…"

Maria appeared at Tommy's side. "Joel? What is it?"

"Ellie's gone. I thought she might come here, to see you, Maria. She always liked you," Joel replied, the desperation causing his voice to crack. He found himself fighting back tears.

Maria shot Tommy a look. "I'm sorry, Joel. She hasn't come by. Where do you think she went?"

"I don't know… I… Tommy, come on, there's a few places we gotta check."

"Sure thing, I'm right behind you," he said. He quickly kissed Maria on the lips and replied to her implorations with a promise that he'd be safe.

They sprinted to the stables first. Tommy insisted he do the talking, since Joel was in no state to be reasonable, especially since it was Grant that would be on duty in the wee hours of the morning. They entered the stables to find Grant at the front desk, sitting groggily over a cup of steaming coffee.

"Grant, you haven't seen Ellie this mornin' have you?" Tommy asked.

Grant rubbed his face with his hand. "Sure, came in here not… I dunno, fifteen, twenty minutes ago. Thought it was kinda weird she was out so early."

Without warning, Joel burst behind the counter and threw Grant hard up against the wall. He put a forearm at his neck and firmly lifted, showing the seriousness of the situation. "Where is she?" he seethed.

"Joel! That's enough! Calm down!" Tommy yelled.

Grant was too stunned to reply quick enough for Joel's liking. He pulled his 9mm from his waistband and pressed it hard into Grant's temple. "Where is she!? I swear to God, if you laid a fi-"

"Joel, think about what you're doing," Tommy cut him off, holding out his hands, palm down, toward Joel, pleading with him. "Don't do this."

"S-s-she came in here… a-a-askin' to saddle… to take a h-h-horse out for the day…" Grant stammered, visibly terrified. "I gave her her f-f-favorite one… she rode off…I didn't think anything of it, she does it a lot… that's all I know, J-J-Joel! I swear!"

Joel eased the pressure against Grant's throat and let him drop his weight back onto his legs. Grant wasn't a small man, by any means, but Joel was fueled by anger and fear. "Give me a horse. Now."

With shaking hands, Grant hurriedly saddled up two horses for Joel and Tommy, and they rode out to the north gate.

As they rode, Tommy turned to Joel. "Look, brother… I know you're real scared about Ellie right now, but you gotta keep a level head before you do anything stupid. Keep it together." Joel offered no reply, staring ahead sternly as they rode.

When they arrived at the north gate, Tommy called up to the guards. "Hey Jack, you see Ellie ride out of here recently?"

Jack looked over the railing. "Yeah. Weren't… I dunno, fifteen minutes or so ago. Asked where she was goin', but she just stared back at me. She looked as mad as a wet hen. The hell did you do, Joel?"

Joel bristled, but Tommy cut him off before he could speak. "You see which way she went?"

"Yeah… well, I think so. She headed toward the creek. Lost sight of her over the ridge, but it looked like she was headin' in the direction of that place where y'all would go swimmin' from time to time."

Joel looked over at Tommy, and Tommy saw the worry in his eyes. He had seen that look before, twenty one years ago, in the dark near a highway bridge.

"C'mon," Tommy said. "Let's go get your girl."

* * *

**AFTERMATH: PART II WILL CONTINUE**

**WITH CHAPTER 11**


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